So, yesterday we had an IEP meeting at our base school. So..yes, our son goes to our Church school
but the Church school (most the counselor from how things seem to be done) is
requested more testing. That said, I
knew from the meeting at the 12.5 days into the school year that her purpose
was to push him into the public school so they could deal with Bitty.
Amazing, enough though his Teacher is becoming more
comfortable with him. It really appeared
she was working with him in fear of the unexpected. Wondering when he would meltdown or as she
wrote in an email, “Since we need to use our
instructional time wisely, we do not create a show down with Logan.” That
is just what every Parent wants to hear.
That said, we are also told that she is afraid to discipline him.
Thankfully, the magic of the behavior chart (giving Bitty
guidelines) his RDI therapist made has been beautiful and we have gone from
nothing but negative chats with the teacher with no constructive information to
constructive, helpful information with a few positive notes!
In the IEP meeting the Church school counselor told the base
school IEP staff that they wanted to make sure we (Andrew and I) knew of the
support the base school can offer so we know how the base school can help when
we would need to move him over there because the Church school can’t do what
the base school can. Funny, enough the
base school states he would be in the same situation and getting the same help
that the Church school is giving him.
The school psychologist was wonderful in asking exactly what
is that we (Andrew and I) are wanting out of these tests. I had already informed the base schools Head
EC Teacher that this is not a need for us but us complying the Church school’s
request.
So, the Head EC Teacher stated that it wasn’t for us it was
the request of the Church school. So,
the psychologist directed the question to them.
Then stated that some of their requests versus testing she
could do. She pointed out that the
educational testing is best done in the student’s school by the school
staff. People, that Bitty is
comfortable with because if we pull him into a different environment and with a
stranger he more than likely will shut down and it will skew and corrupt the
results. So again, the observations they
have of him in class. That said I would
request the RDI therapist be the one to offer more information due to she is a
non-biased observer.
I feel the school counselor is doing her best to push him to
someone else so she can go back to not having to work as much. Just my opinion due to other interactions with
her. For example, telling me to contact
the base school for to request the reeval.
The staff at the base school tells me that is not something they do. I go and ping my Special Needs online groups
and get the actual contact person with our public schools. I call her, she answers in 2 rings. She asks what Church school and then easily
states, OH --- --- (counselor’s name) I have worked with her before! Here’s what you do..and she in a 5 minute
phone call tells me what I need to do, asks if I have any other questions, and
within two minutes of the phone call sends me the promised email. I was floored…that said the process with the
base school went much easier.
So, I very kindly (a tad bit on sarcasm dripping there)
contacted the school counselor via email with the entire support staff on the
email letting her know the difficulty I had with the base school and for her to
better help others in the future give her the contact person and proper route
to take. Then did also throw in the
information that the contact has said she has worked with you before.
So..yeah..I threw a low ball but as classy and business like
as possible.
If this is your job, you know the process then please give
proper information. We were thrown into
a last minute invite to a meeting that we were blindsided in.
At a next meeting the counselor stated that it was the
“unexpected meeting” that caught her off guard.
We have written proof that it was a planned staff meeting and we were
only invited to it 36 hours before it began.
Unexpected my booty. But..kill
them with kindness, right?! Well..that
sounds terrible..treat others the way you want to be treated. So, we smile, thank them but do speak simple
and clear to make sure nothing is misunderstood.
Anyways, back to the good day yesterday. J Every negative thing the Church school staff
had written and pointed out about what Bitty was doing. The lead EC Teacher, the base school typical
Kindergarten teacher and the school psychologist would say, “Well, that is a
typical Kindergartener action.” “Very normal for any Kindergartener to do
that.”
I also made sure I added the 2 cent detail of their requests
after 12.5 days of school. All of the
base school staff said, that is too soon for any Kindergarten child to
adjust!
I REALLY appreciate all they did.
We then went on to giving them background on Bitty as they
asked and looked at prior IEP and testing.
Stating he never had any academic goals it was all behavioral. Again they pointed out the pointlessness of
education testing and that again all of his behavior things are indeed pretty
typical for a Kindergartener and a child on the Spectrum. And that the issues he is having with
multi-step directions are pretty darn typical (as typical as it can be) for a
child on the Spectrum and again share they would be doing what the Church
school is doing and that actually the Church school may have 5 more kids in a
class but they have more consistent TA help than the public school does. The base school has a much larger setting. 5 Kindergarten classes versus 2 and shared
TA’s between classes. In our school they
have TA support full up through 3rd grade and then shared part time
TA’s after that.
The school psychologist listed testing that could be done
and the quickly listed why many of the choices would offer minimal to no help
with what they (Church school) are seeking.
So, truly only one thing may be beneficial however, it is forms filled
out by Andrew and I and one by the teacher and depending on how we answer it
may not be a score able questionnaire.
Andrew and I shared our Bitty’s story with where he started
and where is he now. We listed the gains
we have seen since Kindergarten started.
We shared our concerns of the Church school’s requests and mention what
is doable and what is not for us. As in
the Church school telling us he needs a small class size which at any schools
that have that is $2,000 a month minimum.
We shared all we do for him and how we work with him.
We then get the wide eyed shock look and told that we do
more than most Parents of kids on the Spectrum and they are amazed by what we
do. People tell us that a lot. We don’t understand that.
As a Parent isn’t our job to help our Children grow and
thrive?! That said every day passes we
feel like failures. We did not handle
something as we hoped to, we did not get to do something we hope to. We ran out of time on a promise to our kids,
we ended up yelling and screaming and throwing a tantrum like the kids
did. We feel we were too critical. The list can continue. We are just Parents doing our job. We are not Olympians, we are not exceeding at
anything but perhaps feeling crazy. Isn’t
that one other thing all Parents do?
Feel crazy?! We have that one in
the bag.
Crazy wonderful, crazy crazy, crazy mad, crazy concerned,
crazy hopeful, crazy frustrated. Perhaps
we are just awesome at crazy. That is
about it though.
We left the meeting with a good feeling dates in place for
appointments and more meetings. It was
good meeting but I left with my chest on fire and sweating. That all is how my body handles stress and
that was after I spent 45 minutes before the meeting speed walking to try to
burn off some stress.
During the meeting while the base school staff collaborated
we gave the school staff a heads up of Andrew’s work wanting him to travel but
just giving him a window of next week or the week after. That said, he had went into the meeting with
the message from someone higher up to call him when Andrew has a moment. We told them we will prep Bitty but it will
change our morning routine at home and Bitty may or may not respond well. I feel if we don’t give them a heads up it
would be used against Bitty as an excuse to push him out. Any child has a hard time if a home routine
changes, Bitty just has a little bit tougher time than the average kid. Andrew left the meeting and made his needed
work calls only to be told he needs to leave in a few days, the sooner the
better. So, our crazy wonderful life continues.
Truly it is never dull and there is always the curve, hill
or dip coming out of nowhere in our rollercoaster of life.
Perhaps we just need to learn the safety dance, yeah..maybe
that will help.
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