Thursday's forgetfulness and Ella's Race tomorrow

I am having a hard time.

I am exhausted no matter how much I sleep

or

how active I try to be.

I am also having a hard time focusing

and

haven't shaken yesterday yet.

I guess just as the children I am a creature of routine

and habit.

I got to read to D's class.

So I parked in different spot of his preschool.

Once the reading was done,

school was over.

I took D and Logan and we went to where I parked.

I got the Boys in the car and drove home.

I pulled into our drive, put the van in park,

turned off the van

and

our Logan was standing behind me!

Apparently, I never strapped him in and he did not

complain.

I feel like a horrible failure.

I have before wondered if I did not strap them in

due to habit and ritual

and

will look in my mirror for a visual.

This did not happen.

Thankfully he was not hurt

however, I am hurt with myself.

I am not happy about it

and can't shake it.

I then later on unbuckled him after

getting him from school and forgot I did that (the unbuckling).

Then I panicked if I forgot again (to buckle him)

but when I retraced my steps I am 99% sure

I did unbuckle him.

Earlier this week I was so happy I made a big dinner.

I got everything finished together

at the same time.

Nothing was burnt and

was served warm (not hot or cold)

I feel like I just finally broke in the

kitchen at this house.

I also cleaned up.

So a complete meal start to finish.

One that required chopping stuff, while cooking

and baking multiple things.

I feel like I passed a dip in the roller coaster of life.

But then I forgot to buckle Bitty..

Then last night I reheated something on our

“low output” burner,

we have a gas stove.

At bedtime I I thought I smelled

gas in our upstairs hall way

but,
 blamed it on just having the stove top

on earlier.

I did not say anything
and
 convinced

myself not to check it.

I fell asleep pretty quickly,

I was wiped.

I woke when D climbed in our bed

after a while I kept smelling gas again.

I mention it to Andrew.

He did not smell anything. I laid

there in bed telling myself it was nothing.

Andrew gets up and showers and I pass back out.

(like I did not sleep the entire night.)

The next thing I know the 2 kids that were in our bed

were gone
and
 Andrew is waking me.

I indeed smelled gas,

he confirmed the burner was on all night long.

It was on low so you could barely see it.

So, as I know I should trust my crazy dog nose,

I am glad that I trust my gut

and
 don't store things over night on top our stove burners.

Say like a child's lunch box..

I know I should trust my gut

I do and at times I try to convince myself

it is just paranoia or just flat our crazy,

then things like this happen
.

I was right..I know better.

Sometimes life is just ca-razy,

It could be worse, it could be better.

So many people go through so much more so why complain?!

I am nervous and exhausted today.

Tomorrow, I am signed up to run a 5K.

I wanted to go to it last year but was only

10 days post craniotomy,
but
I REALLY wanted to be there.

It is “Ella' Race.”

A little girl used to go to Aidan's school.

A couple years ago she passed away from

a diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma,

an inoperable aggressive brain tumor.

My Sister had told me about her,
I, at the time signed up for her Family's care page to

follow.

I learned of her passing
and
 it made me sad.

February 8, 2012, this was 12 days prior to

me learning of my irregular MRI.

So, last year her first 5k in memory of her I felt I really

wanted to go.

This year was a must.

It will also be a practice 5K for me

in prep of the Angels Among Us.

I have not been training like I want to.

Today,  my chest burns and stomach flips

on top of

just being exhausted lately

and

always feeling car sick when I am just looking down

in a non-moving car
or
 not even in a car.

Tomorrow, will also be a big day for Aidan also.
He is coming to the 5K too.
He also wants to run...

At his school when you are in Kindergarten

you get assigned an 8^th grade Buddy.

Well, Ella has a big brother, he is now in 8^th grade.

He is Aidan's KinderBuddy.

I wasn't surprised when I found out.

I was also informed that the school “manipulates”

things.

That said, well, perhaps the school is just trying

to help people have Faith.

Inspire Faith, that is so lacking at times

in this world.

Inspire that people are brought together

for a reason

or

moved apart for a reason.
**Not speaking of a child's passing **

Like I said last year, I REALLY wanted to be there

and
toyed

whether I would introduce myself

or

if I would chicken out

or

be observed as an odd ball looney toon.

I can only say trust your gut

and

have Faith.

Having Faith doesn't mean

that things don't hurt,

or

you don't stress.

It all just happens.

 Stressing, worrying, hurting

does not mean we don't

have Faith.

Perhaps, it is just a calling to show us where

were should look.

We can try and fail

over and over again.

We may learn things are not to happen

as this time..
or

That there are bigger and uglier things

we are being shielded from.

It doesn't make sense at all.

But, it is not for us to try and understand.

We have Faith that this is the Path

we are to travel.

Do we struggle?

Yes

and

we must carry on.

Do we all fail at this?

Yes, yes we do.

We ALL do.

We must get back up and carry on.

That said,

I am picking up my tired self

and
going to check on our Little's.

I am going to aim to get things done I hope to today.

I am going to hope
and
 fight to

have patience,
happiness

and

make sure I do not over look all of the little Blessings that

will shine today.

And try to forgive myself for all of my forgetfulness

yesterday that has only increased my motion sick feeling.

Today is a new and beautiful day

and

tomorrow will be too.

Now commencing my battle with myself...

Venting..

Here I am trying to pull some weight

off my shoulders.

I am horribly behind on all things.

I am still caught up on laundry though..

I have taken back to running our household

numbers,

and

am not quite up to my picky particular

potential.

It took us both to iron it out last night

and

it took almost 2 hours.

I just like to keep a good eye

on spending

and

keep the papers organized.

We stayed under on our Christmas budget

which is awesome.

For me it is to start saving in the new room month
(I type random words sometimes..)

and

zero out the budget.

That way we “magically” grow our standard savings.

Too much info?

Get over it.

I am not mentioning numbers

just the basics on what I do.

That said, I found some errors today.

Just tried to double pay 2 bills.

Since apparently I did not know

I already paid them.

I know this can happen to anyone

but I haven't done it before..

I did one time buy twice as many diapers as

needed..but..

I had two in diapers

and

a screaming 12 hour a day baby

and

a screaming 4-6 hours a day not-quite-2 year old

and

a 3 year old who would beg to go to his room

to get away from the noise.

That said, I don't have that

and

still managed to whoops on things

and

paid extra on one. (No biggie there..but not planned)

So this really gets to me.

AND even though I

updated our 2014 calendar

(which I USUALLY do early December every year)

I just finished it today

and

wrote down all the school schedules.

Apparently, I can't read because

Bitty has school today

and

I was positive I did not read it on his

school calendar this morning.

**Edit**Yes, I was looking at the calendar for 
the school system he was in before we moved. **

I am pretty detailed oriented

so to have quite a few faux pas

today is not good.

Stuff happens, but it bugs me today.

Probably bugs me because in 2 weeks

I will have my next MRI and neuro-oncologist visit.

I was supposed to in December but

they called to reschedule due to my

Doc's schedule for traveling changing.

December was a bit nutty.

Some issues with one of our Pups

which means we have to decide what to do

and

that includes revamping the budget to

compensate for his new needs.

Bitty hit a nice fever the day after Christmas

and

hasn't recovered fully yet.

He keeps giving us his little curves of crazy.

Even one of the most “strict” peds,

(the one who told me at 2 when I listed some oddities I noticed

said, “It's not like he's Autistic or anything.”..)

Agreed, something isn't quite right but we can only list

what the illness is not.

Our tiles under our fridge

are pulled up

and

now the “man in charge”

from the plumbing company

has to come look at it

even thought we spent 2 weeks with a dehumidifier

and 1 of those 2 weeks also had a supremely noisy fan

to help dry it out.

We also met with their general contractor too.

His taking so long slows the process down

but he should be here tonight

even though he canceled on us earlier this week.

So here's hoping that ball continues to roll...

And things happen and schedules have hiccups..

We also had an animal stuck in our attic for a few hours on

Tuesday afternoon into evening.

THANKFULLY, it found it's way out

and

we have a vague idea of it's way in

and

blocked it.

So far so good..

So right now I would love to go hide

just because of all these nagging things

BUT,
I can't, so I won't

and

have a giant list of to do's

and

really would just prefer to

play with the Boys..

So onward to find the balance of both..

I really keep thinking it's a Monday..

SO glad it is not!!

There are plenty of sparkles of good..

they may be little but

they are here!

Time to go scrub some dirt, play with the Boys

and

focus on all of our sparkles..

with a little less weight now off my back.

Just a portion of our week..

D has fallen asleep dropping Logey off at school.

Since he is napping

I am deciding to attempt to type a little

before I we have to go get our Biggun' from school.

Here we are 4 days before our Baby is 3.

The Rogers' chaos continues.

We had a lull and here we are now

back into it.

When we moved in we got a new fridge.

There was not one here

and

in order to sell our

other house they wanted the fridge.

So, Lowe's dropped it off

and

wouldn't connect the

ice maker due to new codes

and

our line was plastic.

New codes are using a flexible metal line.

So, since days run long

Andrew on Sunday night (our 1^st night of all 5 of us sleeping here)

hooked it up

and

went into the crawl space to turn on the water line.

Yup..the parts

(Insert long lapse here..potty issues with D..no nap done, hope to type more later)

Starting at two days later..

The parts from not being moved for months

had dry rotted or rusted or something

needless to say a huge gush of water

and

Andrew in the dark now covered in mud

had to run up to the street and turn off the

main line of water to our house.

He went to the store twice to try to get new parts.

It failed.

So now we had no running water

except for our outdoor spickets

which are attached to the well

the house originally had.

I sent Andrew out with a stock pot to fill

and

heated it on the stove so he could wash the mud off

and

we went to bed.

A plumber came first thing to fix it

and

we decided to to have the water/ice maker

connection

installed behind the fridge

like it is in newly built houses.

That way if a problem occurs we can turn it off

NOT from the crawl space.

Well, since then I have heard

on and off trickling sounds

but see no water

and

when Andrew gets home it is quiet

so we forget to look.

We have learned that some new fridges

have a non removable drip pan

and

possibly it was something

dripping into that.

Well, I am having by giant bouts

of exhaustion.

I fell asleep at 7p

on this past Sunday.

Andrew heard the drips!!

He checked it out!

So GLAD he did.

He called the plumber because the

line they installed was leaking.

They came out first thing

and

when he spoke to them they said,

“OH, you guys must have got one of the bad lines.”

Yes, the plumber repaired it

and

then contacted a water damage company

they work with.

Yes, WATER DAMAGE.

After 2 month

we have wall studs that are 100% saturated (per the tech's hand held meter)

our tile is saturated, drywall is also.

So our fridge is in the middle of the kitchen.

A humidifier is in the area sealed off.

AND

there is one under the house sealed off.

The hope is to dry it all out.

They sprayed a fungicide on the stud that

was black and white discolored.

The issue is the old owners sprayed

foam insulation

underneath the house.

They may not be able to get the sub flooring to dry out

and

if that happens

(after at least 5 days of dehumidification)

we will have to replace our kitchen floor.

It is tile it will have to be 100% new floor and possible sub-flooring.

Yup our kitchen out of sorts and cluttered. If you look closely at the kitchen light
you will see the drain line taped on the ceiling so we don't trip on it
AND it is draining into our kitchen sink.  (don't worry it is a push drain it can go against gravity)

Yes, just a bump in the road. An inconvenient and annoying one.

The dehumidifier noise gets to you after a while.

They will be out today to recheck it all.

Add to our Cooper dog issues, he just had his vet recheck this week.

Things don't look good.

That in itself is a post of it own

on my view/reasons for it.

Our chaos rolls and “time marches on”

so we keep on..

Like I have said before, not gracefully,

we try and we fail

we are human.

We just get back up and try again and again and again...

Where have we been?

Going crazy?

Very possibly. 

I am eating some chocolate and pretzels and sipping on a beer. 

Yup. 

It has been a while since I posted.  

We as normal have had a lot going on!

We sold our home we built!

After 8 years, we moved across town (nearer to Aidan and Daniel's schools.)

We now have a bigger yard

and

about the same size square footage. (a tad smaller..like 50 sq feet)

We closed on the new home on October 11.  

And the closing of our "old" home was on the 15th. 

We thought a few days overlap would ease the move. 

Hah!

We can dream right?

Here we are still in a mess. 

Supremely disorganized and tired. 

Logan had to go to  a new school since we moved into a 

new county. 

He is doing pretty good. 

The house we bought was empty since April. 

There were a lot of repairs that need to be done

and 

will still need to be done. 

Since it was vacant it was a bit yucky!

Lots of cleaning to do. 

Still not to my liking and soon enough will feel like our dirt. 

That said, it feels like home. 

The other house took almost 8 years to feel like home. 

Funny, huh.

I wake in the morning and don't expect to see our giant

vaulted green bedroom.

I am still not alarmed of the room I see 

just go.  Oh! Funny I did not expect to see the 

bedroom I slept in for 8 years. 

I have never really "moved."

Back in '83 my Parents moved to NC.

They are still in that house. 

My "moves" I remember are going to ECU

and 

marrying Andrew!

Andrew however, has a lot more moves that than under his belt. 

Some he may not remember much. 

His Dad was in the Air Force. 

Well, funny, to say, Andrew

was born in Germany.

Yup. 

From Germany, to Virginia, to South Carolina

to North Carolina. 

Yup, he has moved around some.  

We had some great help

and 

our very Thankful for all who helped us.  

In the midst of all of this. 

Logan got an earlier than scheduled call in with his

Geneticist. 

No answers, it turned into he got some weird genes from me. 

Then his Doctor turned to me and it was like

an appointment for me. 

My job is to inform all of my Doctors about this genetic mutation.

It is related to a rare disease called, "Acute Intermittent Porphyria."

My family doctor informed me I need to see a hematologist. 

So, yup. 

Never dull and all has to happen at once!

I don't remember if I ever updated on here.  

I saw my Neuro-oncolgoist in September and am 

able to stretch it to 3 month between visits versus

2 months. 

I will take that. 

As November turned, I was thinking, 

It has been forever since I have seen them!

It does seem like it because I would be prepping myself for

the visit that would be coming. 

SO yes, it feels like forever. 

It turns out to be on the anniversary of my 

MRI last December that scheduled the biopsy. 

That said, I feel like crap in general

and 

am feeling worse about this. 

It seems like a dream. 

At almost 8 months out I really almost think 

it was a bad dream. 

I was perky and positive then. 

I am having a harder time now. 

It is sinking in. 

I try not to let it get the best of me

but 

it is just  a constant reminder. 

It bugs me that it bothers me. 

I want to go run. 

But I am not because I feel like crap. 

But maybe if I run I will feel better?

But if I feel worse, I will have set myself back.

Anyways, I have lost my focus. 

I must make dinner. 

We moved. 

There is a lot going on. 

What's new?!

Our chaos and we keep on truckin'

just hoping to get back to 

my positive me. 

This non-positive me needs to go away and take a 

long walk off a short pier.  

I don't have time for her!

Our New Home. Top L-R: Toy room, backyard, kitchen.
Mid L-R: Dining room, stair case, office
Bottom L-R: Foyer, living room and Front

As you can see, stuff not done, no picture on walls yet.
It will come.

Office needs unpacked and organized and all the paper clutter should diminish.  :)

The Lessons for Patience

So, I have heard a few times

about how positive I am being amongst things.

I guess I can be

 but

I am at a low point lately.

At 10 weeks post-op I have hit a bump

in the road.

I am good most days but hit

a lull I can't quite seem to get out of.

I lose my patience with the Kids

and

the mess that is accumulating in the house.

The bathrooms that need cleaning,

the floors that need vacuumed

and

mopped.

I thought I could handle it on a slow pace.

So far, not quite.

It really just depends on how the day

with the Boys go.

Last weekend while in at supreme exhaustion

Andrew was picking up the mess that

has continued to be fed by the

Boys.

He ran the vacuum, made lunches, dinner,

dishes etc.

My Husband is a great support

and

a bearer of mass weight on his shoulders.

I am really only at 50%

we make it through

thanks to him.

He helps beyond belief and then some.

We don't get much time together

I am usually asleep

or

at a point lately of horrible frustration.

I did well for the first 9.5 weeks.

I am now frustrated.

And so incredibly mad at myself for being frustrated.

The mass destruction of toys

always bugs me.

Therefore I clean up or make

things go away.

We have quite a bit talked about reducing the

amount of things we have.

They aren't necessary.

Trying to convince people

that the Boys don't need toys galore.

There is just too much.

We have talked about reducing

for a while now.

The need is there

however, the energy and focus on

my part isn't there yet.

I was so tired yesterday that I

wanted to make popcorn.

Over the course of 4 hours

I got out the kernels,

the pan, the oil,

the sea salt

and the lid.

Yes, it took four hours for me to

get the focus to get out

the needed items.

By the time I got it all out

I was too tired to make it.

Insert frustration, anger,

minimal patience.

So on a Friday after a long week

my Husband comes home to a

torn apart house,

me who was half awake on the couch,

the Boys running rampant,

stuff sitting out in the kitchen

from my popcorn attempt,

and

me super grumpy about what I did not do.

I did however, wash sheets, take the Logan to school,

ran to a grocery with Aidan and Daniel.

Fed them lunch but never got that quite cleaned up,

fresh sheets on the little's beds.

That consumed all my energy.

How, do I release frustration?

Exercise, physical activity..

How do you do that when you are exhausted?

It was just a junk day.

I was asleep before 8p

and in bed until 7:30a today.

7:30 is when Boot Camp is on Saturday's.

I woke up too tired to go.

After all that sleep, still tired!

Insert more frustration there.

**Remember, I was told by many specialists

not to get frustrated at what I can't do

to give it time**

My 2 cents is:

I made it this far, why NOW?!?!

Well, the weather is beautiful, actually cool

minimal humidity.

Blue cloudless skies, nice strong breeze.

Andrew headed out and mowed the yard, edged, trimmed.

Then all 5 of us headed out back for fresh air.

Filled with supreme allergens

so now congestion, hoarse coughs,

runny noses

and

antihistamine taken preventatively.

I did a few out door chores in the back.

We took down the second level of my raised garden.

The dirt I made last year?!

GORGEOUS!!!

Yes, I bought all top soil, compost, etc.

Made some supreme soil to grow our veggies in.

Yes, I am bragging, it's super pretty!

I took down some briars growing

from our neighbors yard into ours.

Those root systems are strong.

I took it out on those guys!

Needless to say, I was just clipping briars

also reaching through the fence (the house next door is

empty and in pre-foreclosure :( )

so I have to get a handle on those briars

because they get into our yard

and go right where Logan and

Cooper love to play.

So, yes, after some clipping I took a break.

I sat on down, out of breath, and wiped.

Explaining to Andrew that when I say I

go to Boot Camp and modify my exercises.

I REALLY REALLY do!

Not that he is one to convince.

He knows and trusts me

but it was my 2 cents

due to some critical vocal parties.

I caught my breath

and

trimmed my rose bush that is

from my Great Grandma Crase's house.

Everyone has one in their yard.

After she passed away,

my Grandpa (her oldest son of 8 children!!)

made sure all of his Kids and Grandkids

have a part of her bush to keep at our homes!

I trimmed some crazy parts

and

worked on some bushes I had

moved into our back by our AC's.

That helped me relieve my frustration.

To see things how they are.

Another lesson of learning patience.

Lots of things going on, patience is key and so is trust.

There is more than must my tiredness, a few things we aren't at a point to talk about yet,

Daniel having an allergic reaction but seems to be heading

down it's nasty path

of more ring worm.

YET, NO ONE ELSE HAS IT!

A long frustrating call with a nurse at the Ped's office.

That is a whole other post of how one of my soap box moments.

Which is more so give another side others don't always get to see.

But anyways, Everyone has difficulties.

No matter what they are.

We all have them, all on different levels, all

at different times.

Anything easy is not worth having.

We all have our paths we are lead to,

our paths to follow or stray from.

Our lessons to learn

and

hopefully learn something to help others,

to make the world a better place.

No matter how little or possibly

seemingly irrelevant.

It will help someone somewhere.

We are all different.

If we all were the same how

boring would the world be?!

This is all here for a reason,

however given.

Keep Hope, Faith, Patience.

From a friend I was given a wonderful song to listen to.

A video to watch.

It is 22 minutes.

It is wonderful and sad too.

It is about a teenager who passed away this week.

But, his way of handling it.

I bought one of his songs

and will soon

buy the others.

It goes to a great cause

and

to me his song, “Clouds”

it is about his way of dealing with a terminal illness.

But, listen to it if you feel you want.

It can be put into anyone's difficult times.

To me it is a motivating song.

Take your chances while you have them,

try, you can do it.

Don't let things bring you down,

find some good in it.

Take on the challenge!

So, my main purpose

is to spread interest in this teenager.

He has a web site:

http://www.childrenscancer.org/zach/

It has everyone on it.

His music, his story, the video.

It may bring you to tears.

Keep hope

and

of course buying his music

(which is addictive to me)

goes to a wonderful cause.

A simple and easy on the budget donation.

To something some may feel strongly about,

if you don't

that's OK.

We each have our own things that mean a lot to us.

Slowly, digging out and letting out frustration

and

Thank you Dear Lord for giving me

such a wonderful man

that I am sharing my life with.

I will try to keep my patience.

A constant lesson we are being given.

Smoke alarm on the fritz

So sorry I have been slow to blog.

You know, why keep things calm?!

Whether it's a choice or how things tend to go.

Mostlly, it is how things tend to go

so

if we do get a choice

we don't tend stray from the not crazy

because we would be choosing

the non-norm.

Anyways, yeah, so I have surpassed

2 months to the date since

surgery

and

Wednesday marked 9 weeks.

This week I have hit a lull.

First time in a while I have over done it.

I did not mean to.

REMEMBER, (for the super critical non-constructive ones)

my first and foremost choice is to take care of the
Boys.

That includes, diaper changes, taking them to school, snacks, meals,

groceries, laundry etc.

Once I get the hang of that I will do more.

That said, I have taken a dip back into my

Super Awesome Boot Camp class.

Why?! People may ask,

well, that is how I handle my stress.

Is it easy to handle stressed out kiddos,

Autism tantrums?!

(Have you ever experienced them?!)

It is hard and after hours upon hours of it

you know you sometimes tend to lose your cool

especially if you don't have an outlet.

My outlet is exercise.

The few times I can actually give my brain a break.

I feel revived and ready to start again.

I as have mentioned I am no where near where I was before

with class

AND

that is OK.

I AM OK with that.

AND

THAT IS MOST IMPORTANT!

By going back to class I handle the Boys better,

I am better for Andrew

and

for myself.

Health wise you must find a good

stress outlet.

Bottling it up is not good for your mind or body.

It REALLY can affect all of your bodies systems.

Don't worry I studied for my bachelor's degree on that.

It's not a fake thing, it's true science.

And again why the neuro-oncologists

are pushing for it.

OK, I need to step off my soap box.

Andrew and I had an unplanned trip to Texas.

It was pretty stinking nice.

We really enjoyed it and loved the area.

It was the first time either one of us had been there.

It deserves it's own post

and

I will do that soon.

(Probably after the long deserved Angels Among Us post.)

That said, I missed the Boys.

A break is nice and the Boys

can be a handful

but

we both still want to be with them.

So, you know after all the stress on them with

my surgery and recovery

let's add a trip for us to it!

Talk about some super separation anxiety of these

Sweet Stressed Little Men.

D has hit his limit and was in our bed with us.

(He usually wants ONLY his bed.)

So that was how Sunday night went.

I slept pretty OK

and

Andrew was kicked all night.

Monday, the Boys did well enough.

The older two went to school

and

I chilled out with D.

I also caught up all of our laundry.

Then went to Boot Camp.

I came home pumped with energy.

And had two great friends come over for a surprise visit!

THEN came our typical crazy.

Super early Tuesday morning, I was already in the shower.

The Boys were all woken by one of our smoke alarms.

Yup.

So, when one goes off it makes all the others go off.

We have six in our house.

Well, nothing was smokey it was just one on the fritz.

Don't worry they all got brand new batteries 2 months ago.

Yeah...so it is hard to pin point the fritz one

when they all are going off anywhere from 5 seconds to a minute

you are running like fools comforting the Boys

and trying to see

which one is the culprit.

We read up on it could be insects or dust

on a sensor.
So, first step take them all down and blow them out.

(Thanks to our air compressor.)

Guess what...

it did not work!

And one squealed like a fool

when being cleaned out.

So they would wait 5-20 minutes

in between going off.

Logey also has his Speech Pathologist come in

on Tuesday mornings.

Yes...real helpful for a therapy session!

So by that point it was almost 3 hours of them

randomly going off

and I was

right by the dumb one.

FINALLY!

SO Andrew got it down

and we were good.

Andrew went to work,

I took the Biggun' to school

then

Bitty, D and Me hit up

the home improvement store.

We bought 6 new ones.

You know, if one is on the fritz and you fix it

that pretty much

asks the rest to follow suit.

So we took the initiative to start fresh.

Tuesday's are long days.

Logan has Occupational Therapy in the afternoon.

Lately, their office has been bonkers when we get there.

So, have a stressed out (since we were out of town),

early risen (due to the smoke alarm),

sound sensitive (due to constant alarm sounding) Kid

not to mention his Special Needs

and

put him in the overstimulating (paint and lights)

waiting room,

with it's recent increase in crowds.

He was kind OK at first, a little over stimulated and trying to work with it

then saw his Therapist come out

with her current patient then

step back into the office.

He flipped out. She came quickly back out.

I gave her the short update

and

since she knows him so well

knows the crowd was not helping.

She took him back quick

holding his small flailing self

who ended up kicking

a nearby Boy in the head.

(He was not aiming or aware of the other people, that was just

how stinking crowded it was in there.)

Barely room to move.

I apologized profusely to his Father.

Who thankfully was super nice.

Yes, so D get's no naps on those days

and

is tired.

Etc.

Yes, those are long days and early nights.

Wednesday was a day of needing groceries but

I have signed up to meet

one of my Friends and her Baby Boy

for free play at one of our

local recreation centers.

D LOVED it!!

But that was a long day too.

I had an afternoon appointment also (=no rest) then

you know the Boys wake from nap

and the day continues.

Thursday, we needed all groceries.

I woke early to make the bread we were out of

and I was too tired to make it

the night before.

I took Aidan to school

then

took the Little's on our grocery runs.

I use coupons some but mostly know

the stores have more consistent prices

and the least price

of some of our big ticket items.

So unfortunately I needed to hit 3 stores.

Well, when pushing carts full of groceries with

60 pounds of kids in it.

Yeah..first time I have tried that since surgery.

I usually only go with just D

but it did not work with our plans this week.

So it had to be 2 kids

or

I get up super early to go kid free

or

go super late to be kid free.

Which means less sleep.

So obviously I chose more sleep but

more kid weight.

It was too much for me.

Now I know where I am

and

will more easily remember it

due to my exhaustion level.

Only thing is, Summer is coming up

and

will be taking all 3 Boys!

I make Aidan walk but

everyone once in a while (pre-surgery)

I would let all 3 be in the cart

which takes it to 100+ pounds of Kids.

Yes, that is not gonna happen anytime soon.

Needless to say, I got some help unloading the groceries

and picking Aidan up from school.

I rested but it wasn't enough.

So I went to bed early,

slept all night.

Slept in, and was still exhausted.

I can't even remember right now(today is Saturday)

what I did yesterday morning.

But by lunch time with the Boys I was done.

I called Andrew home.

:(

He took over lunch and got them to nap.

All 3 napped.

I napped 3 hours.

I woke to 3 sleeping Boys at 4:40p. YIKES!

I was still tired but know if I nap too much

I can't sleep at night.

Needless to say, I made dinner.

And could barely get myself up our steep stairs.

Andrew put the Boys to bed and I literally crawled from

our hallway into our bedroom

and

into our bed.

I was asleep before the Kids.

I slept until this morning.

Aidan had a school mate's birthday party to go to.

It was a lot

so here I am this afternoon resting.

I could seriously nap but would rather

just go to bed early.

Or perhaps take a short snooze.

But yes, I knew the party would be too much.

But he is almost done with the school year

and

will miss his school friends as they all

go to a different school next year.

So we all went since if I did not go that

means taking care of 2 littles

and

it is too much for one of us to take all 3 Boys by

ourselves to a museum.

You can lose Logan in a heart beat

and to

find him you have to relinquish your

attention 100% from the other 2.

Just not safe at all.

So, 2 adults are needed to take all Boys

out to a place like that.

Perhaps, after more years it will be

feasible but not

at this moment.

We'll get there though!!

Angels Among Us Post due soon

and

A Texas post which includes some awesome air plane photos.

Yes, an awesome private air show.

SO neat!

AND

some GREAT Family time too!