Rogers' Rollercoaster

So, yesterday we had an IEP meeting at our base school.  So..yes, our son goes to our Church school but the Church school (most the counselor from how things seem to be done) is requested more testing.  That said, I knew from the meeting at the 12.5 days into the school year that her purpose was to push him into the public school so they could deal with Bitty. 

Amazing, enough though his Teacher is becoming more comfortable with him.  It really appeared she was working with him in fear of the unexpected.  Wondering when he would meltdown or as she wrote in an email, “Since we need to use our instructional time wisely, we do not create a show down with Logan.” That is just what every Parent wants to hear.  That said, we are also told that she is afraid to discipline him. 

Thankfully, the magic of the behavior chart (giving Bitty guidelines) his RDI therapist made has been beautiful and we have gone from nothing but negative chats with the teacher with no constructive information to constructive, helpful information with a few positive notes!

In the IEP meeting the Church school counselor told the base school IEP staff that they wanted to make sure we (Andrew and I) knew of the support the base school can offer so we know how the base school can help when we would need to move him over there because the Church school can’t do what the base school can.  Funny, enough the base school states he would be in the same situation and getting the same help that the Church school is giving him. 

The school psychologist was wonderful in asking exactly what is that we (Andrew and I) are wanting out of these tests.  I had already informed the base schools Head EC Teacher that this is not a need for us but us complying the Church school’s request. 

So, the Head EC Teacher stated that it wasn’t for us it was the request of the Church school.  So, the psychologist directed the question to them. 

Then stated that some of their requests versus testing she could do.  She pointed out that the educational testing is best done in the student’s school by the school staff.   People, that Bitty is comfortable with because if we pull him into a different environment and with a stranger he more than likely will shut down and it will skew and corrupt the results.  So again, the observations they have of him in class.  That said I would request the RDI therapist be the one to offer more information due to she is a non-biased observer. 

I feel the school counselor is doing her best to push him to someone else so she can go back to not having to work as much.  Just my opinion due to other interactions with her.  For example, telling me to contact the base school for to request the reeval.  The staff at the base school tells me that is not something they do.  I go and ping my Special Needs online groups and get the actual contact person with our public schools.  I call her, she answers in 2 rings.  She asks what Church school and then easily states, OH --- --- (counselor’s name) I have worked with her before!  Here’s what you do..and she in a 5 minute phone call tells me what I need to do, asks if I have any other questions, and within two minutes of the phone call sends me the promised email.  I was floored…that said the process with the base school went much easier. 

So, I very kindly (a tad bit on sarcasm dripping there) contacted the school counselor via email with the entire support staff on the email letting her know the difficulty I had with the base school and for her to better help others in the future give her the contact person and proper route to take.  Then did also throw in the information that the contact has said she has worked with you before. 

So..yeah..I threw a low ball but as classy and business like as possible. 

If this is your job, you know the process then please give proper information.  We were thrown into a last minute invite to a meeting that we were blindsided in. 

At a next meeting the counselor stated that it was the “unexpected meeting” that caught her off guard.  We have written proof that it was a planned staff meeting and we were only invited to it 36 hours before it began.  Unexpected my booty.  But..kill them with kindness, right?!  Well..that sounds terrible..treat others the way you want to be treated.  So, we smile, thank them but do speak simple and clear to make sure nothing is misunderstood. 

Anyways, back to the good day yesterday.  J  Every negative thing the Church school staff had written and pointed out about what Bitty was doing.  The lead EC Teacher, the base school typical Kindergarten teacher and the school psychologist would say, “Well, that is a typical Kindergartener action.” “Very normal for any Kindergartener to do that.”

I also made sure I added the 2 cent detail of their requests after 12.5 days of school.  All of the base school staff said, that is too soon for any Kindergarten child to adjust! 

I REALLY appreciate all they did. 

We then went on to giving them background on Bitty as they asked and looked at prior IEP and testing.  Stating he never had any academic goals it was all behavioral.  Again they pointed out the pointlessness of education testing and that again all of his behavior things are indeed pretty typical for a Kindergartener and a child on the Spectrum.  And that the issues he is having with multi-step directions are pretty darn typical (as typical as it can be) for a child on the Spectrum and again share they would be doing what the Church school is doing and that actually the Church school may have 5 more kids in a class but they have more consistent TA help than the public school does.  The base school has a much larger setting.  5 Kindergarten classes versus 2 and shared TA’s between classes.  In our school they have TA support full up through 3^rd grade and then shared part time TA’s after that. 

The school psychologist listed testing that could be done and the quickly listed why many of the choices would offer minimal to no help with what they (Church school) are seeking.  So, truly only one thing may be beneficial however, it is forms filled out by Andrew and I and one by the teacher and depending on how we answer it may not be a score able questionnaire.

Andrew and I shared our Bitty’s story with where he started and where is he now.  We listed the gains we have seen since Kindergarten started.  We shared our concerns of the Church school’s requests and mention what is doable and what is not for us.  As in the Church school telling us he needs a small class size which at any schools that have that is $2,000 a month minimum.   

We shared all we do for him and how we work with him. 

We then get the wide eyed shock look and told that we do more than most Parents of kids on the Spectrum and they are amazed by what we do.  People tell us that a lot.  We don’t understand that. 

As a Parent isn’t our job to help our Children grow and thrive?!  That said every day passes we feel like failures.  We did not handle something as we hoped to, we did not get to do something we hope to.  We ran out of time on a promise to our kids, we ended up yelling and screaming and throwing a tantrum like the kids did.  We feel we were too critical.  The list can continue.  We are just Parents doing our job.  We are not Olympians, we are not exceeding at anything but perhaps feeling crazy.  Isn’t that one other thing all Parents do?  Feel crazy?!  We have that one in the bag. 

Crazy wonderful, crazy crazy, crazy mad, crazy concerned, crazy hopeful, crazy frustrated.  Perhaps we are just awesome at crazy.  That is about it though. 

We left the meeting with a good feeling dates in place for appointments and more meetings.  It was good meeting but I left with my chest on fire and sweating.  That all is how my body handles stress and that was after I spent 45 minutes before the meeting speed walking to try to burn off some stress. 

During the meeting while the base school staff collaborated we gave the school staff a heads up of Andrew’s work wanting him to travel but just giving him a window of next week or the week after.  That said, he had went into the meeting with the message from someone higher up to call him when Andrew has a moment.  We told them we will prep Bitty but it will change our morning routine at home and Bitty may or may not respond well.  I feel if we don’t give them a heads up it would be used against Bitty as an excuse to push him out.  Any child has a hard time if a home routine changes, Bitty just has a little bit tougher time than the average kid.  Andrew left the meeting and made his needed work calls only to be told he needs to leave in a few days, the sooner the better.    So, our crazy wonderful life continues. 

Truly it is never dull and there is always the curve, hill or dip coming out of nowhere in our rollercoaster of life. 

Perhaps we just need to learn the safety dance, yeah..maybe that will help.  

Small Glmipse of Ramblings of a Mother's Brain

Just one of those days. 

My vision has been off since my migraine yesterday that truly interfered with my vision more than “normal”. 

First migraine since summer.  I am not a fan of those.  Definitely not a stress one because this school year has been one giant massive terrible ball of stress. 

Fighting for understanding, acceptance and working with Bitty. 

I had this crazy idea that perhaps I could find a small part time job. 

I miss my paycheck and want to put some extra money away for when all hell breaks loose. 

Which is a frequent occurrence.

 However, my days have been spent with phone calls, emails, appointment scheduling, volunteering, being Therapist Mom for Bitty, and being Teacher Mom for Bitty. 

After 12.5 days of school he was forced to perform half days due to him being “tired” so a massive schedule change before he could even vaguely attempt to adjust to the 12.5 day brand new schedule change. 

I was in contact with his Therapists, his Developmental Pediatrician, meetings with his teachers and others school staff.  These were not short meetings.  During those meetings we are repeating all that is stated in his IEP. 

The IEP we handed to him just to let them look over to see if it was anything they could work with before we even got any hope of filling out an application for him.  Those needs listed are still the needs he has.  Yet it is an OLD IEP from when the public school pushes children with preschool services into kindergarten whether they are ready for kindergarten or not. 

The school wants him to have a new one.  We are working with that. 

The staff are not staying consistent and pull the fear card of concerns with him. 

We have countered with writing letters, organizing thoughts, pulling paper work, forms, data support to confirm the information we share, we beg for them to use the resources we have.  The wonderful support staff that have grown with Bitty, has offered information to share and teach about Logan’s needs, they offer their time and to always be an open point of contact to assist during difficult times.  Bitty has a new therapist who has come to observe him at school and offer input.  She has joined us on our biggest meeting yet.

 We have expressed we will give our time as extra hands if need be.  We make supports and that they can run support ideas by us for we have given it 4 years of trial and error.  Surprising enough, as Parents we are his in home teachers and therapists.  What we used can easily be paralleled into the classroom. This information is not well received. 

That in itself is massively frustrating.

We are jumping through hoops for them and will continue to do so if we must to help our Bitty.  We are only 4 years of experiences so our agility may not be great but over time if this continues we will be pretty well versed in it.    

That said, we do have two other kids who need love and attention who feel the stress that this above listed drama seeps into them. 

The home tension is thick on many days.  This does not feel wonderful to the other kids. 

They want time and attention too.  Even though they are “used to” the focus on Bitty. They still don’t understand it as none of us do.

 They see his troubles and see attention received as we work through those. 

The other two in turn reflect the images those images in grasp for time directed at them. 

They need their time and fun experiences.  They need to grow and learn with Mom and Dad too.  They too also have things that they struggle with and we must be sure to take the time to help teach how they can work through those times. 

This however is just a typical Parent’s job.

As pointed out all we do for Bitty in one of our meetings, a school support staff piped up that it is what we do only for one and there are two others not even mentioned towards that effort and time. 

It is the job we signed up for.  Our choice to be Parents. 

These battles, people call it advocacy.  That is just a pretty word to use for a battle.  At least that is what it feels like.  We are exhausted but can’t sleep.  We must plan and organize but thinking is very difficult. 

I mean the work to fight this battle is 40 hours at least, then we add we need to work with that child and our other two with homework or just a game or heck read a book. 

Do we need to pay our bills? Food in the pantry?  We have to cook, right?!  Laundry, do we need clean clothes?  Does the house need clean?!  Are our pets fed and watered??  Oh wait, time for ourselves?!  What is that!?  Our time together is planning for the next meeting.  The follow up contact regarding information given and or shared.  Getting all I’s dotted and t’s crossed. 

Oh do we have more appointments coming up, oh crap I overscheduled. 

Oh yeah! We must take care of ourselves too. 

Tired but can’t sleep, throw some time for yourself in there but your brain just won’t stop running through the “to do’s”??

Oh wait, did I email my Doctor back? 

You know I really need to. (And I did.)

My neuro-oncologist thankfully uses email for contact. 

I was supposed to update her about my headaches.  How they are doing, perhaps they are stressed related?  I need to relay appropriate information back to her so they can determine what they feel are the cause.

My MRI’s are stable but the headaches are making a comeback not just any headaches, migraines with aura changes.  That’s all. 

Remember though, I am suffer terrible reactions to migraine medications. 

The oncologist feels strongly against usage of NSAIDs post brain surgery.

Why, you ask?

If you take them post brain surgery you have an increased risk of brain hemorrhaging and she doesn’t think a gamble is worth the risk. 

The headaches and migraines feel just as they did prior to Arnie’s discovery and post his resection. 

So, we have an option, I deal with it the headaches as I have since they ever started just only use of Tylenol which does nothing other than take a slight edge off.  The “fix” to just turn off and wait for it to pass.  I can feel off for days.

Don’t worry, I don’t have anything else to do. (sarcasm)

The other option that was mentioned in July was chemo. 

Yup.

We did not share that publically at the time is was presented.

 Dr.  Desjardin described it as Arnie’s remnants are just a splinter in my brain and like a splinter can cause pain and irritation.  The extremely low dose of chemo can help soothe the irritation.  It will not attack the remnants as Arnie’s remnants are not “active” they are in a “sleeping stage.” As we were told in 2013 that his remnants will wake up one day and a new battle will begin but you never know MAYBE Arnie won’t ever wake up but that is pretty slim. 

She made sure she mentioned how odd his tests ran that she had not seen on with numbers like his before so maybe he will stay sleepy! She said all of that with the added but if we use chemo and he wakes up, the chemo has a first line advantage to kick his ass the moment he starts to even blink.

We recently agreed we are on a, “I just suck it up” agreement for pain. 

They are concerned with quality of life but I can handle pain it has yet to fully take away my quality just make some harder days. 

So, all of that weighing on us since July and the fear of Kindergarten for Bitty to the real life advocacy and acceptance road we have begun. 

As you see just those two topics takes up a lot of space and thought and just barely glances our other two Kids. 

These two topics will always be in our lives and this is how things usually will be.

We do spend time with our other two, just not as much as we like to. That said Bitty needs time to just like them! Not just therapy and work time for him. 

They all 3 need time to be “typical” kids and have ‘typical” Family time. 

Oh yeah and one of us has to be at work so we can have our home, electricity, water, food etc. On top first page of to do’s and needs. 

Oh yeah, Friends?!  We want to see them to. 

Extended Family!?  

Crap.

The list will always continue to grow and some things get dusty when they slip through the cracks. 

We must battle insurances too.  It is fun and you know what?!

This is absolutely miniscule compared to what other Families need to do or have thrown at them.

Tiny, just the start of a can of worms. 

Things truly could be even harder and if they ever turn that way we will continues to fight and move. 

Quitting is not an option, neither is pity. 

No pats on the backs. We are just working with what needs to be done for our Family.

Just knowing so many more have to work through darker woods keeps our lives in perspective.

The only purpose of this post is to spread knowledge and experience in hopes of reducing judgement and misunderstanding in Society. 

Just hoping to spread some insight and words with those who choose to have open eyes, ears and hearts. 

Perhaps, in time there will be more people like them in the world. 

Bitty's Turned 5!

Bitty turned 5 this month.

As all Children are, he is truly amazing.

We are so grateful that we were given Bitty.

A blessing and a true gift as Children are.

I spent some time re-reading the posts from

my pregnancy with Bitty.

I cannot believe 5 years have

gone so quickly.

Our Little Bitty has grown so much

and

he has helped us to grow.

Grow in Faith, Love,

Learning, Patience

and so much more that I know

we have not realized yet.

Bitty's words are coming a long.

The are honest and some times brutal.

It is not easy, he uses them well

at times not always flattering though.

He is able to tell us when he is done

and

had enough.

He has told many kids to,

“Go Home! Leave!”

In a forceful tone,

we are working on being polite

but he has used his words

instead of going into

full fledged screaming fits of

frustration.

This is a big step,

now granted if they extra stimulation

does not end

then he will go into screaming mode

but

he has gained the ability to use words

before that point.

He is still full out in love with

numbers

and

letters.

His Teacher was working on numbers

with his class the other week.

They all got to come up and circle a number

on their board.

She said he asked for the number 100.

She said it took some effort but she finally stumped

him with numbers once she tried out 1000.

He still likes his lines for visual stimulation

and

signs of all kinds.

He still does some stacking and patterns through out the house.

Not as much as before and

we think it was due to the other home being so wide open.

He now only begins it after some rough bouts.

He has adjusted well to moving,

we are now 6 months into being here.

He had a delayed reaction to the move

and

doesn't like for

any seasonal decoration change to be done.

Heck, he fits if he sees me add the Boys new art work to the toy room.

That said, I do not do it when he is able to watch.

He accepts the change so much better

to see the end result instead of the work.

This Birthday is the first one that when we

asked, “What would you like?”

That he had an answer.

The first answer was, “A Dusty cake.”

He loves Disney's Planes.

I then asked if he what flavor of cake,

I had to offer two choices.

**This is a typical aspect that he

works with in Speech, ask a question,

if an answer is not generated, we offer choices. **

He answered, “A vanilla.”

So, a vanilla Dusty cake it was!

He pings our heart on a daily basis

(as all Children do)

and

he sang with us, “Happy Birthday!”

He did not try to grab the candles, he focused on them,

and without being told blew them out!

We had not been practicing at all, he blew them all out

and

then cheered for himself.

It was beautiful.

Of course, I started the video late

and stopped it early

but am pretty sure even without a

video that this moment will forever

be etched in my memory.

He was excited on his decorations.

Of course we always did this in the past

in hopes of some recognition of his day

by him.

A way to denote it was a different

than typical day.

This year we went into his room,

he did his routine, “Good Morning.” response

and

we told him it was his Birthday.

He perked up and ran downstairs

as fast as he could,

went straight to his chair

and

started “Oo-ing and ah-ing” over

a birthday hat, and decorations.

It was a wonderful change.

He had also requested for weeks,

a red present.

So, yes we obliged and made sure

we had red wrapping paper.

One lesson we learned with our new found

potty trained Bitty, that he truly needed to go

potty before we said, “Happy Birthday!”

Needless to say, I realized he had not gone

and

we were not able to break his focus.

I was afraid an accident would happen.

I finally convinced him to go but

about 2 seconds too late.

Lesson learned by me for any other

event.

He is rocking the potty training by the way.

He has come so far.

He is doing much better on the hardest part

for him, the dreaded BM.

His signs of going are very hard to catch,

once we finally learned them,

then the next hill

was to catch the signs at their first appearance.

We have definitely gotten better at noticing

and

he now is beginning to notice at times on his own.

I know this seems like too much information,

I promise no descriptors will be listed

but

this is a known issue,

their bowels function

differently than the Neuro-Typical.

As to why Autism is not a “label.”
It is a neurological disorder

in which their body is wired differently than most.

Now the “why” no one gets

but to us that is not a concern.

We don't need “why”

we have what is a Beautiful Little Man,

that views the world in a way

the majority does not.

I truly believe they are here to

teach us to keep our eyes open.

He only helps to teach us to

try to understand others,

be considerate, not judging,

to be accepting, and so much more.

He just his week had is best yet time at the Dentist.

His Dentist had a surgery come up

so we had a change to Logan's expectations.

He rocked it out!

This office is so understanding

of working with any kids,

but also with children with Autism.

I always found it funny when

his Dentist would explain

what he was doing and why

to me.

Try to explain the sensory aspect

Logan was battling with the appointment.

I would smile and say I understood.

The Dentist he saw this week,

just did the blunt asking the questions

of the exact diagnosis

and

when Bitty was diagnosed.

He sighed, a big sigh of relief

and said ( in summary):

Thank God, so many Parents

fight it, they wait so long

to seek help.

Kids are usually 4-5 by the time the diagnosis

is made.

I just smiled.

He stated about the difference Early Intervention makes.

I am aware.

I just smiled again.

He could not stop saying how amazed

he was with Bitty.

And that his teeth looked so great.

He gave us tips on how they will help

handle loose teeth.

(A concern of ours..)

They are a kind and understanding place

and

while he was talking to me,

all the women in the office

who were done with patients were playing with Bitty.

YES! A group of people he doesn't know

and

he was willing to interact with them.

What is funny, is Bitty seems to be able

to tell who is comfortable

with him

and

will open up to them.

Oh even last night, we were making a return

at a store

and the staff barely looked up

as she helped,

Bitty approached the counter

looked directly at her,

and clear and audible say, “Hello!”

(which sounds like

Hel-whoa)

He surprised us and her.

Then she opened up.

To us it is the power of a Child.

They are so much more than sometimes people give them

credit for.

They are our Hope and Future.

Our Sweet Bitty is growing

on his own curve

as the Pediatrician even said that.

I did my typical smile and say, “I know.”

He also rocked out his 5 year check up!

This was the first time he ever

responded to the eye and hearing test!

Yaaaaay!! 2 less appointments with Specialist.

*There was more I wanted to say but my memory fails me*

So our Little Bitty

weighed in at 32.5 lbs

as the pediatrician wrote “less than 5%"

and 

in the room said he is hanging 

at the 3^rd percentile for weight

but he has gained weight since last year 

and 

that is what said

he is growing on his own curve.

Bitty measured up to 41 inches (15%)

he has grown 4 inches (I think that is what the ped said)

since last year.

Our Supremely Sweet and Perfect Little Bitty.

I sure hope the next 5 years slow down a little.

April already?!

April showers, bring May flowers.

How are we already in the fourth month of this year?

A third of the way into 2014!

April is Autism Awareness Month,

now I know as I have been told in the past

every month as multiple things

that the goal is raising awareness

of.

I like to share

ones that are a big part of our

every day life.

And yes, with Autism

my goal is to ping it also

in preparation for the

local 5K fundraiser event.

For this month it also brings

our Bitty's Birthday.

This time has gone so fast

and

he has grown so much.

He also teaches us things on a

daily basis.

Some of the big ones are indeed

helping us maintain patience,

understanding

and

not passing judgment.

Not only for ourselves but towards others.

This is a big thing in our society

for sure.

It sure seems (trying to not be judging)

that everyone is in a hurry,

expects they are owed everything or anything,

mad if they don't get it

and

quick to add their two cents to anyone.

Just think of the days when

you are in your car.

Going the speed limit or maybe a tad over

but this doesn't stop people

from being behind you

way too close

or

throwing their hands up (while tail gating also)

when someone doesn't punch the gas

the moment the light turns green.

(And you will see someone blowing through the most recent light that turned red.)

I used to always be in a hurry

and

some days are later than I want to be

and

it does bug me.

We have appointments to get to,

if you are late you get charged,

if you are late you don't get

as much time.

This is big when you look at it in the eyes

of therapy appointments.

If I am late Logan gets less time

with the wonderful people

who help bring him out of

Loganland.

I don't want to do that to him.

Some days we are just late,

I try to take deep breaths,

I give them a heads up,

I let them know I understand

he will have less time

and

apologize for being late.

Some days it's because

getting myself and others ready is hard.

No matter how early I try,

we still run late.

It could be due to shoes not being what they want,

clothes,

potty battles,

or just

an all around

fit-tastic morning

where one of the kiddos

or

heck some days

me,

having trouble regulating ourselves.

Everyone has an off day on patience

or

focusing to complete a task/goal.

That said for others it is even harder

and

it is fierce.

On those days or moments when things are rough,

a lot of times it is Bitty and his Autism.

He can be really put up a fight.

That said, we are glad he is so small.

We work on helping him grow

and

keep weight on.

He is so small, heck the other day

someone asked if he was 2!!

But, I say if he was the size of our other 2

and

he goes into full meltdown mode

it would be even more difficult to work with.

He has a time limit of being in a crowd/busy playground/outside in bright sun..the list goes on.

He did really well at the 5k the other weekend.

He is almost 5 and we brought the jog stroller.

That is another topic of judgment, we see.

People thinking you are encouraging your Children to be lazy.

When I see or hear people say that I step up

and say, “Things aren't always what they seem.”

That doesn't usually pan out well

but with the goal of

making people aware it should be said.

Not rudely, just matter of factly.

We all at times find ourselves thinking things

the biggest is telling yourself that

it may not be what it seems.

Be kind.

We bring a stroller because Logan

gets over stimulated.

The noise, the crowd,

the idea of mass chaos.

To him he doesn't see the organization,

he needs clear cut lines and boundaries.

Then add anxiety of being near people.

Will they touch me?

Will they be too loud?

Will they smell funny?

The lights are too bright?

And he goes into meltdown mode but that stroller

offers him comfort, seclusion,

it is like blinders for a horse.

The stroller helps him tune out that he is a crowd.

He will shut down

into a blank stare,

he doesn't feel safe in a crowd

but that stroller offers him security to

stay a bit longer (so our other 2 can keep enjoying it)

but we soon

leave just out of respect and kindness of his struggle.

Our Bitty will snuggle,

when he wants to

and his

snuggle is different from most kids.

He will handle crowds

but heck, like at Church

or

even last night watching a movie with us.

He has to sit being only near

one person.

He prefers to be on an end.

End of a pew where he doesn't feel trapped,

or like last

night he sat next to me on the end of the couch.

*Actually, particular enough he prefers to sits only on a far right end *

As in the below image:

Bitty is the star.

He will move around but always comes back to the star location.

It was the first time we all ever have sat down

and

watched a movie together.

Usually our Boys can't sit still and most movies

are watched while on feet,

rocking,

or

literally running around from room to room.

When they do sit,

some are on the floor,

some on the love seat,

some on the couch,

they don't sit and are just in the room

standing.

Last night all 5 of us were on our couch.

Bitty next to an arm rest and me.

We were amazed and snapped photo

but to get all of us in it

I had to move Bitty to my lap.

He did not scream

but in the photo he was not happy

being that close.

And that is just fine.

We got a photo

and

it captured the moment in it's entirety.

We will cherish it forever.

Just a little rambling insight of

what is is like for us

on a few tiny aspects of the

Spectrum.

And how about a "typical" chat with him

that is not started by him.

Scramble Ramble

Today is one month until the

21st annual Angels Among Us

5K and Family Fun Walk

and I still owe a post that I said I would do last year. 

About the experience there. 

I am in the process of getting Team Shirts ordered. 

I have created a shirt image to use.

Yes, I created it with the help of

free apps and images to get the works together

nothing real savvy but yes I did it. 

We are also less than 2 week from our Logan

turning 5!!  

5 years!

I always have so much running through my head

I want to write about. 

If only I could attach a word processor to my brain

so I could "type" while thinking

and 

doing everything else I try to do. 

I need some 36 hour days where I get 12 straight hours of sleep 

and the 

kids get a few more so I can get some things done without

being distracted from them. 

They are growing up way to fast. 

We have our Bitty actually excited 

and 

anticipating his birthday. 

This is the first time in his 5 years to 

acknowledge it. 

In past years I have gone out of the box

to do something on his birthday

that he would enjoy

and 

show us he was aware of the day. 

Wow..that looks selfish

when typed out. 

That we did it for us?

Let me try again, 

so it was a day and time 

we all could really share together

and 

see all of us 

enjoying it. 

So if people think I go overboard

or 

as I have heard their comments

of criticism.

Their kids enjoy the day, 

they have fun

they are ready for cake

and 

blow out candles and sing. 

Logan does that now

at birthdays. 

He did start out screaming during the singing

and 

get even louder because

the candles were lit 

and 

very quickly blown out. 

He would stay far from the group

but would 

bee line through and then

go back to his space. 

He now may do that at times 

but stays closer

and if

someone chases him

he LOVES that. 

His best interaction with other kids

is to chase them or they chase him

(he takes turns)

whether they are on their feet

or on a bike. 

We need to find a gift for him. 

He has all he wants. 

Heck, Santa brought 

a train table to us December 2009. 

It gets used daily for hours. 

BEST EVER. 

It is in need of some TLC

but it is a must keep. 

But here I am scrambling for birthday ideas, 

party work, 

shirt orders, 

some "graphic design" (haaaa..yeah right..just simple not impressive work)

Bathrooms need scrubbed, 

clothes washed and put away, 

sheets changed, 

restocking the bread supplies in our home, 

some things need a few sewing repairs (not a professional

there by any stretch either, but can get the job done)
I also need to run!

I ran Ella's race last Saturday. 

I need to build up my endurance

in prep for Angels Among Us. 

I spent a lot of time psyching myself out.

The more I practice 

the more I "train" myself not to psych myself out

and 

build up endurance.  :)

But all while wanting to sit back relax and not miss anything. 

Oh the acts of juggling...

In the mean time random photos of last week and weekend. 

Ella's Race..the two finish photos and our Sweet Boys with the Chickfila Cow
and "snow trees" as our D likes to call them. 

Aidan's Lego Creation complete with his eye brow raise, and two dirty Littles.
This is a massive feat for Logey and have shared them with his OT.
DD he would sleep in the mud if we let him.  :)

The perfect weekend night, in PJ's early ready to relax,
D likes to climb on everything and everyone and a Father Son moment of
teaching how to fold paper foot ball for some fun.  

Another catch up attempt

So I hope to have a few minutes

and 

the moment I start to type the Little's start whining. 

We shall see how this goes. 

A lot is going on...

We had all of our duct work torn out, 

a new furnace and air conditioning unit. 

That took two weekends of work. 

And a lot of cleaning. 

We have new register vents downstairs

and

have a few ones to put in upstairs 

over the next couple of months

all of those will be replaced. 

They are round vents and cost more than a typical 

floor vent. 

My dizzy spells are better and the constant 

congestion of the Boys has dwindled 

now that we don' t have leaky ducts 

that are full of 40 years of dirt, dust, grime

and 

mold. 

We learned that people's chaseways are not usually replaced. 

Ours however, was rusted out
 and
 at one point

was duct taped together. 

When checked out, it was no longer connecting the 

two air returns.
 Instead of pulling air through the 

filters, it was pulling air from inside our walls

and
from our upstairs main attic. 

Mmmm...

Logan began potty training willingly at school

and 

after a week we took it over at home. 

His Teacher has done it this way before with much success. 

He is doing really well, honestly!

#2's are not but he is dry most every night

and will even stop playing (even if outside!)

and go pee!

It has been a few weeks. 

I have sent out questions on the Special Needs message boards, 

researched books, tips, anything. 

His bowels are not regular so some of our structured teaching 

tips we received the other year was on the "schedule"

so from what I see at times kids like him can take 

1-2 years for the bowels or maybe never. 

We shall see. 

We had his IEP meeting it went pretty well. 

There is a difference from county to county

and 

I questioned about a few things. 

That requires a post on it's own don't know

when I can get that done. 

Aidan turned 6!  

I cannot believe it!

A hand full and now starting the second. 

He is doing pretty well. 

I got his room situated and cool weather clothes exchanged

so he is doing better. 

He doesn't function well in the disorganized mess

of change. 

Once things get uncluttered

and

clear he does much better. 

Especially, in the comfort of his bedroom. 

He says he likes this house, he does miss the old one. 

I asked what did he miss. 

(Since he would complain about how hot the back yard was.)

He misses his neighbor friends.  

Totally, understandable. 

I have been in touch with their Mom

and 

over winter break hope to meet up. 

In the midst of striking some poses..he was being a goof!

Our Sweet Baby D is loving school

and 

the new backyard. 

Today is Day 7 of him potty training!

I really wanted him started before he turned 3. 

We tried sometime this year.  I don't remember when exactly it was. 

I want to say June, when he was 2.5 like Big Bro Aidan. 

It just did not seem like his time. 

So, here we are and he is doing great. 

By Day #2 all on his own he did a #2 in the potty!

Now, he is similar to Aidan and a bit timid on 

the big potty and prefers the little ones. 

He has also become an example to Logan of how 

we mean "pooping in the potty."

There has been some potty competition

by their choices 

but it has only brought more motivation for them to go. 

We will go with it unless they get mean

but so far it has only seemed to bring them 

closer together. 

The Little's are really interacting more 

and 

have conversations with each other. 

It's beautiful well, until they start getting mad at each other. 

D's food sensitivities have become worse. 

I am wondering if it will calm after the nasty from the old duct work

subsides. 

Our big dog Cooper has had some problems too. 

He went to the vet just over a week ago.

After a long list of medications 

and 

a bath to help soothe his skin. 

He is doing better.
The vet has called to check up on him. 

And he seems to all of a sudden

fit into the the hypoallergenic 

state of our family and/or not typical reactions

to medications. 

He is on a steroid which usually makes people/animal gain weight/retain water

he has gotten skinnier. 

The vet and us are on the fence if this means

his skin was that swollen (and very well could be)

or 

if he is having a bad reaction to the steroid. 

Andrew's Thanksgiving days off, turned out to him being at work

every single day of the break. 

Working late at night to early morning 

just so he could be a part of Aidan's Birthday

and 

take care of what needed done at work. 

I ran another 5K.  I did not train for it

and 

with the move have not been as active as I was. 

And the worst part I walked a small portion of it...

I need to find the way it works to maintain what I was 

doing before 

and /or 

more. 

I did however get things more organized. 

Our office is not unpacked

and 

a large table is my sort. 

BUT I am able to sort!

I also have been able to some checkbook balancing

and

bill pay. 

This is what I did since babies were born. 

We do it together

but I do the data entry

and 

put things where they should go 

and 

make it all work. 

Andrew has been doing this since well 

before March because I hit a point

where I just could no longer do it. 

And by recommendation from my 

neuro-psychologist that I was not ready for that 

and it would come with time.

So, 8 months later I am working on it. 

Funny thing is, I think I saw her at Target just this past Monday. 

I am not sure and could be totally wrong

but it was  a woman who looked like her. 

19 days until I meet with my neuro-oncologist and get my next MRI. 

I have had a lot more headaches and a WONDERFUL (sarcasm)

migraine. 

I am also in the process of battling our insurance company with 

Logan's gene mapping. 

It came back with nothing showing any "reason"

for his blood sugar issues, odor-ific atonic episode, his eye

flitting into the back of his head, his grey face tone in stress

and 

limp moments with no odor. 

It turned into his Geneticist facing me

and 

concerned with me. 

He does have some off genes from me. 

Two with no real known significance 

and 

one that they know causes issues.

It won't become an issue until later in life. 

After a series of questions she asked me, 

then she informed me of the gene

and

then told me I must notify all of my 

doctors immediately. 

My family practitioner wants me to see a hematologist 

So, that is in the works.  

It is a rare disorder that some people with the mutation do 

not have any issues. 

Others do. 

It answers a lot of issues I have had. 

It also has a very long list of medications that are not safe 

and 

that I can have a bad reaction to. 

Quite a few medications I have pointed out to Doctors 

before knowing anything of this

are on that list. 

So, like I have had the 1-3% reactions

yup, that would be where it came from. 

And issues I have had for years 

with no answers only a few hopeful suggestions

from a few good doctors. 

Now, it seems there are answers. 

So, I think this covers it. 

Yet another long post. 

Never boring, never dull. 

We did get our tree up 

and 

more Christmas decorations to come. 

And having some wonderful interactive moments with 

our Boys with each other

and 

all of us together. 

Three years ago, just before D's big eventful arrival

we never could have guessed where 

we would be right now. 

We have had a lot of big down hills in our

roller coaster of life, 

but we are here together

and

 getting to enjoy all of our 

ups together. 

No matter how  little they may be at times

they are indeed ups.