Mom always said I didn't need any more holes in my head

So I owe an update for Aidan's 5^th birthday, Daniel's 2^nd and Christmas.

We also had Aidan's final Christmas Chapel at his Preschool.

I had another MRI and two days after that was Andrew's 31^st.

Our PC is full of photos so until we take the time to remove some our Christmas Photos are stuck on the camera.

I want to take the time and possibly write a short novel regarding the next few days.

Jumping back to Dec. 20^th...

I had my 3^rd MRI of 2012 and immediately after, met with my Neurosurgeon.

The tumor is very slowly growing/changing. This again warrants a biopsy.

I expected this and was quick to agree.

The biopsy is scheduled for January 21^st.

Yesterday, I had my pre-op MRI. It was a brain lab series that creates a 3D image of my brain. On Monday they will use this like a GPS to accurately locate and remove 3 small pieces of the tumor to send to the lab for diagnostics. Following the biopsy I will have a CT Scan to monitor if there is any post-op bleeding. I will stay overnight for observation.

There are risks with the procedure, bleeding at the site of the biopsy, seizure and infection.

Another possible problem is an inconclusive biopsy. There is a 10-20% chance that the samples of the tumor will not give any helpful information.

The procedure will involve making a small incision in my scalp, then drilling a small hole for the needle to go through. The needle is about the size of a piece of spaghetti and will have a small oval cut out on the side to “suck” out three pieces of tumor the size of a grain of rice.

They will look at the pieces in the OR however, they will not be able to tell what it is, they will send the pieces to the Duke Brain Tumor Center and we will get the results of the analysis at my follow up appointment on February 19^th.

I am OK. I know that everything will be OK. It doesn't have any other option. That said, I don't know where the road to OK will lead us but the end point will be OK. I am concerned over possible complications. The chance of risks are a small percentage but I tend to fall into the small percentage.

I go back and forth on the reality of the procedure and then into the it's all a dream feeling.

I did feel a lot of anxiety over yesterday's MRI. Andrew and I also are brainstorming for cheesy jokes. It keeps us laughing and try to keep a light mood.

The goal is to keep as much “normal” routine for the Boys. Obviously, it is something that is hard to grasp no matter what your age. The younger 2 will be clueless. In this aspect I am very grateful Logan is still only a 2 year old instead of an almost 4 year old. Aidan doesn't know much. He knows I had appointments but until December that was all he knew.

In December we told him I had to have a picture of my brain and then talk to a Doctor about it.

Only because they changed my appointment a few times and that changed the babysitting schedule we needed. Aidan likes to be informed of his schedule so he get a monthly calendar of events for home and school. He wanted to know why everything kept changing.

When I made his January calendar he came up with a few questions.

Regarding yesterday morning's MRI..

Q:Why is Grandma taking me to school?

A:Because I need another picture of my brain.

Questions about Monday

Q: Grandma will be here when I wake up? Where is she going after she takes us to Aunt Melanie's?

A: Yes, Grandma will be here when you wake up. Grandma will go to the hospital to be with us while the Doctor checks out part of my brain.

Q: I am going to have a sleepover at Grandma's?

A: Yes.

Short, simple and to the point. For once he did not probe further BUT there are still a few more days.

His Teacher's are aware of what is going on in the event there is any backlash at school or he starts spouting off about brain pictures.

Logan's wonderful speech therapist will head to my Parent's house for his Tuesday morning session.

Logan's OT knows that someone else will bring him to his appointment Tuesday afternoon.

Luckily, Daniel always seems to go with the flow.

I am trying to keep things organized to reduce as much controllable chaos.

I used to be organized but recently not so much. I am working on staying on the ball which means a lot less sleep than our already piddly amount.

We appreciate all prayers if people are willing.

I know things can always be “worse” and if they are I know we will make it through.

Prayers help. My biggest prayer is to have a successful informative biopsy and of course with no complications.

I will try and keep things more up to date as possible.

Andrew and I must be at the hospital at 5:45a. The surgery is set for 7:15a and should last about an hour. I should go home sometime on Tuesday.