Time flies..

Oh My, it has been too long since I last posted.

The crazy wonderful chaos continues!

Our Biggun' finished preschool, he met his Kindergarten teacher,

saw his classmates and classroom too.

Here is a collage of his preschool years.

Where does the time go? This went so fast,

we are going to blink and he will be in middle school, then high school

then college?!

I know each stage of life is supremely special in its own way

I just can't have it go by too quickly.

I know the hard days seem to last incredibly long

even though they really don't

in comparison to it all.

June 13^th marked 3 months post-craniotomy.

Funny enough on this day, Aidan picked out his

Angels Among Us shirt.

Coincidence? Yes.

However, my heart always tells me there is a bigger

meaning behind it, even if he is not aware.

I take it as a sign.

You may not, I do.

We do what we must

but it helps me get through days.

All of this has not been easy on any of us in our Family.

I know this.

It also goes to show with how everyone reacts or treats us or even just me at times.

I try to not get mad,

we all must cope somehow.

I think some days people (not the ones in our home)

get mad that I am not mad.

I can't be mad, I have to see the good in it all

otherwise,

I would not be able to get out of the deep dark hole

I made for myself.

Trust me, with all we have been through I have learned that.

It is not fair to my wonderful Husband or our Children we have been given

That said, I am not graceful.

I try and fail every day.

Some days more than others.

As I got the last MRI report, it is hard.

As the ones that started out in February 2012, they said, “non-enchancing cystic lesion”

to the wonders of a congential tumor, to the finding out it is a glioma, more specifically an

astrocytoma with some oiligodendroglioma cells also.

To it being “benign” yet I have “pre-cancer” issues

to know since surgery my left over tentacles enhance with contrast dye

and are now deemed

“Malignant.”

Nice, huh?

That said, I am a Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Granddaughter, Niece, Friend

I won't let that shape me.

I am me, the other crap is just crap.

It is a given challenge to face.

I am who I am and will continue to be me.

I will not let all of that eat me apart.

Want a few facts?

**From http://www.abta.org/news/brain-tumor-fact-sheets/ **

For every 100,000 people in the United States, approximately 221 are living following the diagnosis of a brain tumor. This represents a prevalence rate of 221.8 per 100,000 persons.

Tumor-Specific Statistics

• Meningiomas represent 34% of all primary brain tumors, making them the most common primary brain tumor.
• Gliomas, a broad term which includes all tumors arising from the gluey or supportive tissue of the brain, represent 30% of all brain tumors and 80% of all malignant tumors.
• Glioblastomas represent 17% of all primary brain tumors, and 54% of all gliomas.
• Astrocytomas represent 7% of all primary brain tumors.
• Astrocytomas and glioblastomas combined represent 76% of all gliomas.
• Nerve sheath tumors (such as acoustic neuromas) represent about 9% of all primary brain tumors.
• Pituitary tumors represent 13% of all primary brain tumors.
• Lymphomas represent 2% of all primary brain tumors.
• Oligodendrogliomas represent 2% of all primary brain tumors.
• Medulloblastomas/embryonal/primitive tumors represent 1% of all primary brain tumors.
• The majority of primary tumors (34%) are located within the meninges, followed by those located within the frontal, temporal, parietal and occipital lobes of the brain (22%).

All that said, why be like everyone one else?
 This we all ready know, we are all individuals.

Also, most medications.. my body hates.

The side effects that are in the 6% or less range I usually get.

I have always forewarned medical staff this,

the few times I have been a situation that needed medication.

They just all smile and go on their way.

The wonderful professionals I am with now witnessed it.

They believe me and now since what happened post surgery

all my other MD's believe too.

Never dull I tell ya!

It will only give professionals more information to learn from.

Knowledge is power.

Since my surgery other issues have shown up and maintained.

I will have more information after another appointment this coming Friday.

Again, like I said earlier. I know the facts and I know my life.

It will not take me over.

I won't let it.

Life is not easy.

I remember being told that things that are easy

aren't worth having.

And

that is OK.

I am a tad exhausted from last week.

Last week was Vacation Bible School at our Church.

My Sister was one of the co-directors in it.

Volunteers took a while to fill in the last holes.

I told her to put me in the least liked one.

That way the others would more likely fill.

I have to say, last week was AWESOME!

I loved it!

Aidan thoroughly enjoyed it and the Little's had some fun too.

It was harder for Bitty and D

but they ended up doing well.

We got a CD of the songs we listened to all week.

In our home it has been listened to for weeks before VBS.

I know they are kid songs but

what they say are something very appropriate to

what you go through in life.

They fit with what is going on for us for sure.

I oversaw a group of pre-teen and early teenage Boys who were

to take photos each day and create a slide show for the end of

each day and

a bigger one for the finale that all Parent's are invited to.

It was a honor to work with young men who

were polite, nice, hard workers

and

were able to get the job done with little redirection.

They also got to give their input

and

put it into action.

I am exhausted from it

but would it again

in a heart beat.

Like I keep saying, I can let the crap tear me apart

or

do my duties 

and 

make the best of it all.

I don't want a deep dark hole.

I can see and acknowledge things are not easy

but 

there is so much more to everything

than just that one nasty spot.

We are 4 weeks from my next MRI.

With how things go, it will be here in a blink.

My next post will hopefully be sooner than then

and be the one I want to give to

the awesome Angels Among Us event in April.

They have posted on their site

all of the photos they took.

Just looking through them all the other day

brought me to tears.

At times it all seems like a dream and like it never really happened.

Then I touch my scar and still don't have all of my feeling back

on that area..

and..

it becomes real again.