It is tomorrow!
A year has passed.
I was getting everyone's
safety pins, numbers and t-shirts
organized.
As I did this, my fingers were shaking.
There is a battle of nerves for sure.
One is that I am not being as active
as I like to be.
I have hit a slump of feeling
like I have been run over by a truck
no amount of sleep can fix.
I was hoping to be in prime running
and exercise shape
but was letting the dragging
feeling consume the best of me.
On top of just the experience.
Last years was so surreal.
(Like I said I wanted to post about it
and now it's a year later..)
It was a morning of shaking,
tears in my eyes
and
my chest burning like wild fire.
This year my goal is to run
but
to not go into my habit
of going out hard.
I am going to do it to
just finish it,
no walking
and
the hopes of being able to
do my crazy Carrie finish kick in.
(I have some good muscle memory for the final sprint in.)
Last year it was hard.
There are so many kinds of brain tumors out there.
Some have it "harder" than others.
None of it is easy.
We were supremely blessed to catch mine
slow growing.
So while there last year I did feel guilty
I see others in wheel chairs,
those wearing shirts of who has gone to Heaven.
Here I was 5-6 weeks post-op
standing on my two feet,
no chemo or radiation,
just a precautionary anit-seizure medication.
I would have been on more at that point
but after my body going nutty from it
I was quickly taken off of it,
not even weaned like you usually are.
But, everyone's path is different
and
no path is easy.
But I had a hard time with that
idea.
I wished that others did not have to
go the path they have.
Perhaps, soon they will understand more.
Perhaps, there will be a more early detection
system created.
I was lucky we caught mine,
when everyone said
I showed no signs of it.
I ONLY went to the doctor
due to a massive change in my
migraine pattern
and
having days of sleeping
and
sleeping
and
still being exhausted.
Even though it was wrapping around
an optic nerve,
I had no apparent vision issues
and
even my Eye Doctor could not see it.
The neurologist I was sent to
told me my migraines were unrelated
to it.
My Neurosurgeon was dead set that it
was a glioma.
But he agreed to wait and watch.
Let me pass up a biopsy
because the professionals
who collaborated were
feeling it was an
(can't think of the term)
pretty much just an deformity that
was from me developing as a fetus.
Yeah..I can get that description out
but for the life of me can't remember
what he called it.
But he so kindly told me
I could come back sooner
and
I did.
I did.
And HE was RIGHT..
The funny thing is..
after biopsy
and craniotomy
the post-surgical pain in my head
was exactly the location
and
same feelings
just even more painful
than my
migraines
that were "not a cause of it."
So, I have HOPE that
more understanding of Brain Tumors
especially these STUPID gliomas.
Will come soon.
One way to help is donating to Angels Among Us,
100% of all donations go straight to
Brain Tumor Research
and
from my understanding
it is towards these gliomas
because they are the ones that
cause that HORRIBLE C-word.
My Hope is an understanding
of being able to possible find them
before they hit the Stage 3 and 4's.
I have not been there.
Arnie was/is a stage 2
but has the most high probability
to become a 3 or 4.
So, as to why I go for check ups
for them to monitor his
left over roots.
So if any change is notated
he gets blown away
quickly
with some powerful stuff.
Thankfully, that has not happened.
I feel this is due to the WONDERFUL staff at Duke.
Another goal for tomorrow is to
be brave
and
when I see my Neuro-Oncologist
to introduce her to our Boys.
And then I will see here 19 days from tomorrow.
So if you can, please help donate.
$590 from the team goal. j
Can we meet our goal?
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