Mon-Wed in a Novel

Alright, so it is Wednesday.

My days are all jumbled this week

probably from a “lack” of routine.

Meaning, Monday was almost 5 hours a Duke

6 including the time to get there and home.

I missed Boot Camp that night

(HUGE routine change :) )

Since then the days are blurs.

Tuesday was relatively typical.

I guess it was just Monday that scrambled me.

The Boys are being good with lunch so I am taking the time

to type up a post.

The Boys are doing pretty well this week.

A day when someone babysits

and

we are gone like that.

The Boys dive back into the March time period.

Daniel goes to bed screaming, “My Momma, My Momma, MOMMMMAAA!!”

It doesn't matter even if I am the one to put him down or not.

It's the same.

He cries for 45 minutes.

I can go in there and he will refuse to sleep

because he is afraid I will leave.

So, we just let him cry it out.

Ugh. This lasted for a couple months

luckily it is just a night or two and then

we get our good bedtime DD back.

Biggun' knew I was going to talk to a doctor.

He asked, “Why is Grandpop babysitting? What are you doing?”

So I keep it generic.

So, Monday morning he was on the verge of tears at any little thing.

Screaming about most things

and

just completely out of sorts.

He's doing better now.

He also asked Andrew right before we left,

“Are you going to Duke?”

So, of course the answer is and was, “Yes.”

So when I go there I get a bracelet each time

and

of course you can only cut them off.

So when I get home, he wants to know why I have it on.

Then later says, “You were at Duke Hospital.”

I said, “How did you know?”

He said, “I don't know.”

Bitty was actually pretty good.

The morning after was touchy.

Every Tuesday morning he has a speech pathologist

who comes to our home to work with him.

He was a tad more particular than normal.

Needing a certain train set up, in the right order

with the right cars

and then

he would comply with her.

At OT in the afternoon he rocked it out!

He did some great things with her!

Which has been hard for him lately.

He for the first time he colored a picture with

minimal help!

Actually an entire picture!

He was pretty spot on at following directions!

Yes, these things may seem small

but are HUGE

for our Bitty Boo.

So, I guess what most want to hear is about

Monday.

It was my first time to get an MRI at the Cancer Center.

I learned a few things.

They have a new computer set up.

So after you check in that staff member is

to print off paperwork to give to the techs in the back.

Over an hour after my appointment time

and

seeing the staff from the back come up

and

tell people they are behind

but never came to me.

I decided to check on it.

Yup, my paperwork was never printed

so the tech staff never knew I was there.

They hauled me back ASAP.

Lesson learned to question much sooner.

I will be getting MRI's there from here on out.

That said by the time I was heading to the MRI it

was already past my appointment time with

my neuro-oncologist

but the radiology staff called up

and let them know I was here but they were running behind.

The people start walking me through the “procedure”

asking me all sorts of questions.

I got the nurse tech doing my IV laughing pretty good.

Then the MRI tech came in.

He was laughing good too.

They start to explain where I should lay,

the headphones,

the cage, etc.

I said, don't worry I have done this a bit.

This is only #5 for the year.

He was like, “Whoa! Seasoned Veteran!”

I am sure some people have probably had more.

So I know it is not much.

Definite change for me though!

They were very good. The IV hurt like a fool.

I think it was just the position of it.

I don't have any bruise though!

That is great!!!

So we then ran up two floors to the

Brain Tumor Clinic.

They nurse said, “Don't even sit down, come on back.”

So, she did vitals,

then took me to another room,

I give more information to nurse 2.

Then we wait for either a neuro-oncology nurse

or the nuero-oncology PA.

We waited and waited.

Then the PA popped in said,

I am running behind the new system is messing me up.

I will be in soon!

We waited a bit longer and he came in.

He thought it was the first time we met

but said, you look familiar

and so we said,

“we met you our first time here.”

Apparently, he doesn't typically do new patient visits.

Then he said, oh yes, I remember it now!

He did a few more tests than normal.

We laughed a bit.

I told him of my disorientation/spacy feeling

and

light sensitivity.

He got a “Hmmm.” Look on his face.

Then he said, after a bit more talking

Dr. Desjardin will be in soon!

Oh yes and he was surprised with what I do at Boot Camp.

Especially, 60 minute classes 3 times a week.

I told him they were just on a local news blog

and he said, 'I have to check that out!”

Then we waited more.

Then he came back in

to ask more questions.

It was at tad odd but

we go from the questions to laughing

about something.

Talking about Dr. Alan Friedman

and

me saying my neurosurgeon studied under him.

I said, “Dr. Grossi.”

And the PA said, 'I KNOW HIM! We ALL know him around here!”

“He is phenomenal!”

I said, “This we know.”

:)

Then he left.

So we waited more for my neuro-oncologist.

She came in with a student also.

Then not long after the PA popped back in too

to give me my paper work they typically give you for check out

and then he stayed.

She said my MRI is brighter due to the new computer system.

But the MRI from May isn't.

Who knows...

She said, “It is stable.”
OK.

Last time she talked with more details about it all.

And end up raving about the awesomeness of Dr. Grossi's

work on my brain.

This time she did not say much about my MRI

and

went onto she saw something in the news last week

that made her think of us.

We again forgot to bring the replica of my brain Andrew made

for Dr. Grossi.

Andrew made 3 copies.

She wants to see it.

So we pulled up pictures but said we will definitely bring one for her to see.

That said, Andrew decided she is awesome too and needs one for herself!

That said, we got back on the Dr. Grossi topic.

The student was laughing pretty good.

So she got to witness Dr. Desjardin, Cheshire the PA and Andrew and

go on about how freaking awesome he is.

The PA told us earlier also,”Everyone around here knows who he is.”

This I know because Dr. Grossi always told us

from Day 1 he was discussing my MRI's with the

people over there.

Anyways, so September with be my next one.

It was a definite different environment

this time.

Seeing it was only our 3^rd time there I don't know

what really it was.

But Andrew agrees with me it felt like something was up.

So to the back of the brain it goes for a month.

There will be anticipation the few weeks before the next appointments

but until then we got things here to do!

The wonderfully crazy and wild

awesome little men we have.

Getting things ready for Aidan starting kindergarten!

And of course having our home on the market!

Never dull

and

I am supremely light sensitive today

with

the off disoriented/spacy feeling

no migraines though!

OH yes that said,

I finally asked about why I was told to stay off of Advil.

Apparently, after brain surgery if you take Advil

you have a higher chance of a brain bleed.

One that they don't want me to take.

That said, those migraines better stay the heck away!

I can handle the headaches that I get

(more often then I prefer) but they are NOTHING

compared to the migraines!

And yes, the uterine biopsy I was told

by a nurse was, “Normal.”
A couple days later the OB-GYN called me

and gave me “options” of what we could try

addressing issues I have had with that from day 1

and not the issues I went to him for.

He started with “Your biopsy was normal.” A few minutes into

the phone call he said, “It was MOSTLY normal.”

What?!

I did not ask. I did not want to deal with it.

I need to call back and ask why he said that.

I have been told something like that before when there truly was an issue seen.

So, I was told to call back in a month or two

and

check in with him.

I will ask then.

Just will probably call on the sooner side.

Anyways, some Sweet Little Men need me

and

I want to have some fun with them

and

their Amazing Daddy,

my Wonderful Husband.

Oh yes and I should have PLENTY of energy to burn for
Boot Camp tomorrow morning!

A group of recent photos

L-R:
1. Aidan reading the Little's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar"
2.Bitty chasing/eyeing up one of his balancing structures
3. A positive attempt at breading some chicken that
no one is sensitive too
4. Bitty sporting his chocolate ice cream mustache
5. Aidan posing with his mango lemonade popsicle that we make
6. DD with his drip plate and popsicle after going down the slide..

Our Summer..

I have been a bit quiet on here.

Trying to find time to post.

But once the Boys get to bed

sometimes I am done too.

Or

If I try to write during the day

I don't want to miss my time with them.

Things have been on and off hard lately.

It is the ebb and flow of life!

Keep on truckin'!

Just some challenges with extreme criticism

due to a crazy 2013 so far

for a large portion of our Family.

Family..as in the extended Family too.

Some years are just like that and we keep moving on.

The weekend after VBS we celebrated my local Grandparent's 82 Birthdays.

My Grandpa's birthday is in April and all of our Family

did not get together like we usually do.

So, when my Grandma's birthday came

we celebrated both of theirs.

That said, I still have all 4 Grandparents!

All of them are now 82.

My Grandpa in Ohio will start the turn in

November, he will be 83, then my Grandma, his wife will be in

February, then my Grandparents here in NC are like I said before

April, then June.

Our Family is so incredibly lucky!

I know it has been a hard year for us all

but for us all to still be here together

is a blessing for sure!

All the crazy included. :)
So lucky,

My Grandparent's here in NC (my Mom's)
have 6 Grandchildren and 6 Great Grandchildren.

My Grandparent's in Ohio (my Dad's)

have 5 Grandchildren

and

10 Great Grandchildren.

Like I said, a blessing!!

Then all of a sudden it was July.

Of course, I wrote about he 4^th.

I have a few photos on here now.

Still need to upload the videos to You Tube.

Aidan in a nut shell.  Drawing, using some of the "Little's Legos" and his trial run for the 4th

The weekend after the 4^th we headed down to the coast.

My Parents have recently bought a boat.

A dream come true for them.

So we spent two days on the boat with them.

First time our Boys have been on a boat.

They did pretty well

and

we would cruise the first part of

the morning and wait for the tide to go out

then head over to a sand bar that shows up

and it's a nice “beach”

for the hours of low tide.

The Boys LOVED it

and

we caught a decent sized hermit crab too.

Bitty loved all the dogs people would bring with them

and

of course one of those days my Brother was

there

and

his pup Jefe boated with us.

It was very nice.

Been keeping it calm, the heat and humidity are in

good force.
Not as bad as some summers.

We have had a TON of rain.

So, that has limited some outside time too.

Must head to bed soon.

Tomorrow is MRI day and Neuro-oncologist appointment.

That said, I haven't done a count down like “normal”

one for sure being that would be a crap ton of

count downs for how long this will continue

and

how often also.

I also have been critiqued on my openness of discussing it.

I was told I am obsessing over it.

You know, it is on my mind.

I do forget it and then all of a sudden I remember it.

It all seems like a dream at times

then I get the nerve regeneration pain

where I had the craniotomy.

Which it is still numb so for it to hurt is strange for me.

Also, sometimes the numbness goes to tingling.

Sometimes the numbness still spreads to my eye.

Other times I forget I have it but rub my head

and

well, it's numb

or

I hit the scar and think,

“Man! I have some zits there!”

Then realize, they are not zits, I am touching my scar.

Or I pull my hair back without thinking

and you can see the area where the hair is different.
That said, I notice it because it is not how my hair used to be

people who don't know otherwise wouldn't have a clue.

That said, it really isn't bad. My hair there is growing out

and just has a different wave to it.

So when straightening my hair

and it doesn't comply as it used to.

Or I forget something I never would.

Or get an email reminding me of an appointment

or

with new results.

I still get those.

Just a constant.

Oh yes, and the first week of July

the disorientation and extreme light sensitivity came back

as bad as it was in January 2012.  Which is what caused my first EVER MRI 

and tomorrow will be my 8th ever and 5th one this year. 

Some days I don't have quite the energy at times

but it is a TON better and my more “normal” energy days

are more at least to 80% now.

My workouts are getting better too

but again

I use less weight then before

(another reminder)

and

just started being able to run.

I have chose to keep using the lighter hand weights

so I can gain back better with running

and when that gets good

then increase my weights back

to where they were.

I have a plan and modify it as need be.

As what life is.

You have to go with the flow,

fight where you need it

and

know when not to.

So yes, I think about it,

have to budget for appointments

and scans especially with our benefit period starting over soon.

I must think about it

most times not by choice

just by reminders.

I do prefer to be open about it because

I want to be.

I am not scared most days.

That said, I am a tad nervous the last few days.

First time in months.

I don't know why

and

that is OK.

Tomorrow will be here soon!

The Waiting Game

So we are still waiting. 

I was told I would hear the biopsy results this week. 

My OB-GYN is out of town this week

but said

he would make sure someone 

called me when the results came in. 

Then he would call me next week 

and we

shall make a plan. 

So, now we wait to see if the phone rings today

and

if it does, 

is it them?

I think again this is just a lesson in patience 

which

on a lot of days I 

fail miserably at. 

I used to be OK enough

but

when you add 3 kids

and 

constant chaos

of just typical life

I run thin. 

If I do well, then everyone else does well. 

No pressure there, huh?

You know the silly quote, 

"If Momma ain't happy, ain't no body happy."

It really does seem true. 

Be the glue, don' crack 

or everyone

else falls apart. 

I also have 17 days before my 

next MRI 

and visit

with my neuro-oncologist. 

To add to it all, 

I have been having 

the spacy/disoriented feeling

and supreme light 

sensitivity

no migraines at least!

Just over my left eye pain, like before a migraine

but no aura!

I am glad at that, because  a migraine

and 

no advil?

Is a form of torture. 

When I get spacy/disoriented

I bump into door frames.

Perhaps, it's all in my mind.  

You know, I can maybe by 

chance make myself spacy??

I can dream right?

I did not worry much until it has come back.

Then a nagging bit of worry comes. 

Don't worry, there is plenty to keep me busy.

And of course I am typing this while Andrew 

has been at work for an hour now (it's not even 7a)

and 

our Boys still "seem" to be sleeping

since they were up late

last night. 

It was a good night!

In the 5.5 years of having a child

it was the first one

where "fireworks" 

were enjoyed. 

We did have a slight meltdown with our Biggun'

as we got home and neighbors were

shooting some

the poor Kid flew into our house. 

HOWEVER, we used sparklers and Pop Its.

And all 3 LOVED THEM!

Our Biggun' had a trial run earlier this week

and 

did great

and 

it got him excited for last night. 

We got some photos from then. 

And last night I took a few videos.  

One of which I did load to Facebook. 

I got them all to say, "Happy 4th of July!"

Logan did not say it on the video, but

he REALLY did say it!  :)

And our DD (not darling daughter, Daniel D as we sometimes 

call him even though his middle name does not start with a D.)

His version was, "Happy Jefe!"  (Jefe pronounced heff-eh)

Jefe is the name of my brother's dog. 

It made us all laugh. 

Roxy and Cooper were with us at Andrew's Parents house

and 

they chased the Pop Its

like they may catch them. 

Yeah, Cooper won't fetch a ball 

but will 

go after a Pop It?

Needless to say Cooper went inside because our Pup

is on edge on the 4th 

or 

any day fireworks are done in the area. 

Roxy doesn't care. 

Yes, I am updating on our dogs. 

As I was told by my nephew

when he was 3, 

"Aunt Carrie, you can't have dog kids!!"

OH but we do!

Human and dog kids.  :)

I hear a Bitty Boo doing morning babbling!

Gotta go!

Photos and video will be loaded soon (hopefully soon)

Rogers?! Dodgers..Uterine?! Shmu-terine..

Here is the end of another Rogers' chaos week.

Just FYI we took the chance of putting our house on the market.

It was a week ago yesterday “active”

we only had 2 showings last Friday

and

one this Tuesday.

Tuesday, we got an offer.

By yesterday it “fell through”

the buyers apparently had an medical emergency and backed out.

We sure hope they are OK.

If it is meant to be, then it will sell.

So far, only 3 showings.

So, we shall see and another weekend of

possible rain.

Which typically keeps people from coming out.

So yes, our chaos.

I went to my OB-GYN today.

Yes, possibly TMI.

Anyways, my body has been off since

the craniotomy.

It has had some issues prior they just

increased greatly since March.

At the end of May the Doctor noticed

my uterus was enlarged feeling via exam.
(As did Andrew and I because I was looking like Carrie 12 weeks pregnant..)
He wanted an ultrasound

and

told me a possibility of a biopsy would happen.

Well, it did.

So now we wait.

The ultrasound looked normal enough

but with how it felt

and

what has been going on

a biopsy was done (uterine lining).

He will be out next week

but

said he would be sure someone would

call me next week with results

and

the following week

he would call me

and

we will talk and figure out a plan from there.

Good enough to me.

I was a tad dizzy/off feeling after it.

The nurse seemed worried

and

surprised since I talked through it all.

Andrew informed her, it was the face.

If you saw her face, she was in pain.

The Nurse surprised I could talk through pain.

I am honestly constantly in pain.

It is a norm unfortunately.

To the point our kids can't sit on my lap without

increasing pain I typically feel.

It is just me and my body saying something.

We're just trying to open our ears and figure it out.

So we shall patiently wait and see

probably “nothing.”

Meaning they don't understand these kind

of things

but

just like to be sure it is nothing “serious” ie: pre-cancer or cancer

There is more than enough to distract

and

like he mentioned it could be cramping most of the day.

I could take pain killers.

Well, according to the neuro-oncologist

professionals, I cannot do Advil anymore.

But, it really just feels like the normal pain I feel

from someone sitting on my lap

or

like yesterday after the x-ray tech

(for my urologist appointment..kidney stones check up)

just touching my lower abdominal

in order to feel for “land marks”
that I am lined up for a good shot

caused me pain for the rest of the day.

By the way, I have been stone free for 3 plus years now

by a simple diet modification

that increased my citric acid levels.

The power of the body is amazing.

I won't step on the soap box at this time.

So, I am clear from going there unless they come back again.

But I have kicked those stones butts. :)

So, now we wait

but shall stay busy and see what the phone call next week brings.

In the meantime we need more bread made, waffles, pizza dough.

The Boys would love some Mommy time

to read or color with,

or outside time in the back yard

I also need to put away laundry

and

wash some.

Make a grocery list..

you name it..

there I plenty to fill the time

till that phone rings.

Onto the back of my mind it goes

far way until necessary
and so the focus goes to these wonderful
blessings I have.

The Video that makes the point

Here is a clip of our Biggun' belting out 

some of the VBS songs. 

DD comes in near the end to sing also. 

On the video description there are a few of the lyrics posted. 

Again, as my point in the last post

how appropriate it all is to us. 

Time flies..

Oh My, it has been too long since I last posted.

The crazy wonderful chaos continues!

Our Biggun' finished preschool, he met his Kindergarten teacher,

saw his classmates and classroom too.

Here is a collage of his preschool years.

Where does the time go? This went so fast,

we are going to blink and he will be in middle school, then high school

then college?!

I know each stage of life is supremely special in its own way

I just can't have it go by too quickly.

I know the hard days seem to last incredibly long

even though they really don't

in comparison to it all.

June 13^th marked 3 months post-craniotomy.

Funny enough on this day, Aidan picked out his

Angels Among Us shirt.

Coincidence? Yes.

However, my heart always tells me there is a bigger

meaning behind it, even if he is not aware.

I take it as a sign.

You may not, I do.

We do what we must

but it helps me get through days.

All of this has not been easy on any of us in our Family.

I know this.

It also goes to show with how everyone reacts or treats us or even just me at times.

I try to not get mad,

we all must cope somehow.

I think some days people (not the ones in our home)

get mad that I am not mad.

I can't be mad, I have to see the good in it all

otherwise,

I would not be able to get out of the deep dark hole

I made for myself.

Trust me, with all we have been through I have learned that.

It is not fair to my wonderful Husband or our Children we have been given

That said, I am not graceful.

I try and fail every day.

Some days more than others.

As I got the last MRI report, it is hard.

As the ones that started out in February 2012, they said, “non-enchancing cystic lesion”

to the wonders of a congential tumor, to the finding out it is a glioma, more specifically an

astrocytoma with some oiligodendroglioma cells also.

To it being “benign” yet I have “pre-cancer” issues

to know since surgery my left over tentacles enhance with contrast dye

and are now deemed

“Malignant.”

Nice, huh?

That said, I am a Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Granddaughter, Niece, Friend

I won't let that shape me.

I am me, the other crap is just crap.

It is a given challenge to face.

I am who I am and will continue to be me.

I will not let all of that eat me apart.

Want a few facts?

**From http://www.abta.org/news/brain-tumor-fact-sheets/ **

For every 100,000 people in the United States, approximately 221 are living following the diagnosis of a brain tumor. This represents a prevalence rate of 221.8 per 100,000 persons.

Tumor-Specific Statistics

• Meningiomas represent 34% of all primary brain tumors, making them the most common primary brain tumor.
• Gliomas, a broad term which includes all tumors arising from the gluey or supportive tissue of the brain, represent 30% of all brain tumors and 80% of all malignant tumors.
• Glioblastomas represent 17% of all primary brain tumors, and 54% of all gliomas.
• Astrocytomas represent 7% of all primary brain tumors.
• Astrocytomas and glioblastomas combined represent 76% of all gliomas.
• Nerve sheath tumors (such as acoustic neuromas) represent about 9% of all primary brain tumors.
• Pituitary tumors represent 13% of all primary brain tumors.
• Lymphomas represent 2% of all primary brain tumors.
• Oligodendrogliomas represent 2% of all primary brain tumors.
• Medulloblastomas/embryonal/primitive tumors represent 1% of all primary brain tumors.
• The majority of primary tumors (34%) are located within the meninges, followed by those located within the frontal, temporal, parietal and occipital lobes of the brain (22%).

All that said, why be like everyone one else?
 This we all ready know, we are all individuals.

Also, most medications.. my body hates.

The side effects that are in the 6% or less range I usually get.

I have always forewarned medical staff this,

the few times I have been a situation that needed medication.

They just all smile and go on their way.

The wonderful professionals I am with now witnessed it.

They believe me and now since what happened post surgery

all my other MD's believe too.

Never dull I tell ya!

It will only give professionals more information to learn from.

Knowledge is power.

Since my surgery other issues have shown up and maintained.

I will have more information after another appointment this coming Friday.

Again, like I said earlier. I know the facts and I know my life.

It will not take me over.

I won't let it.

Life is not easy.

I remember being told that things that are easy

aren't worth having.

And

that is OK.

I am a tad exhausted from last week.

Last week was Vacation Bible School at our Church.

My Sister was one of the co-directors in it.

Volunteers took a while to fill in the last holes.

I told her to put me in the least liked one.

That way the others would more likely fill.

I have to say, last week was AWESOME!

I loved it!

Aidan thoroughly enjoyed it and the Little's had some fun too.

It was harder for Bitty and D

but they ended up doing well.

We got a CD of the songs we listened to all week.

In our home it has been listened to for weeks before VBS.

I know they are kid songs but

what they say are something very appropriate to

what you go through in life.

They fit with what is going on for us for sure.

I oversaw a group of pre-teen and early teenage Boys who were

to take photos each day and create a slide show for the end of

each day and

a bigger one for the finale that all Parent's are invited to.

It was a honor to work with young men who

were polite, nice, hard workers

and

were able to get the job done with little redirection.

They also got to give their input

and

put it into action.

I am exhausted from it

but would it again

in a heart beat.

Like I keep saying, I can let the crap tear me apart

or

do my duties 

and 

make the best of it all.

I don't want a deep dark hole.

I can see and acknowledge things are not easy

but 

there is so much more to everything

than just that one nasty spot.

We are 4 weeks from my next MRI.

With how things go, it will be here in a blink.

My next post will hopefully be sooner than then

and be the one I want to give to

the awesome Angels Among Us event in April.

They have posted on their site

all of the photos they took.

Just looking through them all the other day

brought me to tears.

At times it all seems like a dream and like it never really happened.

Then I touch my scar and still don't have all of my feeling back

on that area..

and..

it becomes real again.

The Lessons for Patience

So, I have heard a few times

about how positive I am being amongst things.

I guess I can be

 but

I am at a low point lately.

At 10 weeks post-op I have hit a bump

in the road.

I am good most days but hit

a lull I can't quite seem to get out of.

I lose my patience with the Kids

and

the mess that is accumulating in the house.

The bathrooms that need cleaning,

the floors that need vacuumed

and

mopped.

I thought I could handle it on a slow pace.

So far, not quite.

It really just depends on how the day

with the Boys go.

Last weekend while in at supreme exhaustion

Andrew was picking up the mess that

has continued to be fed by the

Boys.

He ran the vacuum, made lunches, dinner,

dishes etc.

My Husband is a great support

and

a bearer of mass weight on his shoulders.

I am really only at 50%

we make it through

thanks to him.

He helps beyond belief and then some.

We don't get much time together

I am usually asleep

or

at a point lately of horrible frustration.

I did well for the first 9.5 weeks.

I am now frustrated.

And so incredibly mad at myself for being frustrated.

The mass destruction of toys

always bugs me.

Therefore I clean up or make

things go away.

We have quite a bit talked about reducing the

amount of things we have.

They aren't necessary.

Trying to convince people

that the Boys don't need toys galore.

There is just too much.

We have talked about reducing

for a while now.

The need is there

however, the energy and focus on

my part isn't there yet.

I was so tired yesterday that I

wanted to make popcorn.

Over the course of 4 hours

I got out the kernels,

the pan, the oil,

the sea salt

and the lid.

Yes, it took four hours for me to

get the focus to get out

the needed items.

By the time I got it all out

I was too tired to make it.

Insert frustration, anger,

minimal patience.

So on a Friday after a long week

my Husband comes home to a

torn apart house,

me who was half awake on the couch,

the Boys running rampant,

stuff sitting out in the kitchen

from my popcorn attempt,

and

me super grumpy about what I did not do.

I did however, wash sheets, take the Logan to school,

ran to a grocery with Aidan and Daniel.

Fed them lunch but never got that quite cleaned up,

fresh sheets on the little's beds.

That consumed all my energy.

How, do I release frustration?

Exercise, physical activity..

How do you do that when you are exhausted?

It was just a junk day.

I was asleep before 8p

and in bed until 7:30a today.

7:30 is when Boot Camp is on Saturday's.

I woke up too tired to go.

After all that sleep, still tired!

Insert more frustration there.

**Remember, I was told by many specialists

not to get frustrated at what I can't do

to give it time**

My 2 cents is:

I made it this far, why NOW?!?!

Well, the weather is beautiful, actually cool

minimal humidity.

Blue cloudless skies, nice strong breeze.

Andrew headed out and mowed the yard, edged, trimmed.

Then all 5 of us headed out back for fresh air.

Filled with supreme allergens

so now congestion, hoarse coughs,

runny noses

and

antihistamine taken preventatively.

I did a few out door chores in the back.

We took down the second level of my raised garden.

The dirt I made last year?!

GORGEOUS!!!

Yes, I bought all top soil, compost, etc.

Made some supreme soil to grow our veggies in.

Yes, I am bragging, it's super pretty!

I took down some briars growing

from our neighbors yard into ours.

Those root systems are strong.

I took it out on those guys!

Needless to say, I was just clipping briars

also reaching through the fence (the house next door is

empty and in pre-foreclosure :( )

so I have to get a handle on those briars

because they get into our yard

and go right where Logan and

Cooper love to play.

So, yes, after some clipping I took a break.

I sat on down, out of breath, and wiped.

Explaining to Andrew that when I say I

go to Boot Camp and modify my exercises.

I REALLY REALLY do!

Not that he is one to convince.

He knows and trusts me

but it was my 2 cents

due to some critical vocal parties.

I caught my breath

and

trimmed my rose bush that is

from my Great Grandma Crase's house.

Everyone has one in their yard.

After she passed away,

my Grandpa (her oldest son of 8 children!!)

made sure all of his Kids and Grandkids

have a part of her bush to keep at our homes!

I trimmed some crazy parts

and

worked on some bushes I had

moved into our back by our AC's.

That helped me relieve my frustration.

To see things how they are.

Another lesson of learning patience.

Lots of things going on, patience is key and so is trust.

There is more than must my tiredness, a few things we aren't at a point to talk about yet,

Daniel having an allergic reaction but seems to be heading

down it's nasty path

of more ring worm.

YET, NO ONE ELSE HAS IT!

A long frustrating call with a nurse at the Ped's office.

That is a whole other post of how one of my soap box moments.

Which is more so give another side others don't always get to see.

But anyways, Everyone has difficulties.

No matter what they are.

We all have them, all on different levels, all

at different times.

Anything easy is not worth having.

We all have our paths we are lead to,

our paths to follow or stray from.

Our lessons to learn

and

hopefully learn something to help others,

to make the world a better place.

No matter how little or possibly

seemingly irrelevant.

It will help someone somewhere.

We are all different.

If we all were the same how

boring would the world be?!

This is all here for a reason,

however given.

Keep Hope, Faith, Patience.

From a friend I was given a wonderful song to listen to.

A video to watch.

It is 22 minutes.

It is wonderful and sad too.

It is about a teenager who passed away this week.

But, his way of handling it.

I bought one of his songs

and will soon

buy the others.

It goes to a great cause

and

to me his song, “Clouds”

it is about his way of dealing with a terminal illness.

But, listen to it if you feel you want.

It can be put into anyone's difficult times.

To me it is a motivating song.

Take your chances while you have them,

try, you can do it.

Don't let things bring you down,

find some good in it.

Take on the challenge!

So, my main purpose

is to spread interest in this teenager.

He has a web site:

http://www.childrenscancer.org/zach/

It has everyone on it.

His music, his story, the video.

It may bring you to tears.

Keep hope

and

of course buying his music

(which is addictive to me)

goes to a wonderful cause.

A simple and easy on the budget donation.

To something some may feel strongly about,

if you don't

that's OK.

We each have our own things that mean a lot to us.

Slowly, digging out and letting out frustration

and

Thank you Dear Lord for giving me

such a wonderful man

that I am sharing my life with.

I will try to keep my patience.

A constant lesson we are being given.