The Lessons for Patience

So, I have heard a few times

about how positive I am being amongst things.

I guess I can be

 but

I am at a low point lately.

At 10 weeks post-op I have hit a bump

in the road.

I am good most days but hit

a lull I can't quite seem to get out of.

I lose my patience with the Kids

and

the mess that is accumulating in the house.

The bathrooms that need cleaning,

the floors that need vacuumed

and

mopped.

I thought I could handle it on a slow pace.

So far, not quite.

It really just depends on how the day

with the Boys go.

Last weekend while in at supreme exhaustion

Andrew was picking up the mess that

has continued to be fed by the

Boys.

He ran the vacuum, made lunches, dinner,

dishes etc.

My Husband is a great support

and

a bearer of mass weight on his shoulders.

I am really only at 50%

we make it through

thanks to him.

He helps beyond belief and then some.

We don't get much time together

I am usually asleep

or

at a point lately of horrible frustration.

I did well for the first 9.5 weeks.

I am now frustrated.

And so incredibly mad at myself for being frustrated.

The mass destruction of toys

always bugs me.

Therefore I clean up or make

things go away.

We have quite a bit talked about reducing the

amount of things we have.

They aren't necessary.

Trying to convince people

that the Boys don't need toys galore.

There is just too much.

We have talked about reducing

for a while now.

The need is there

however, the energy and focus on

my part isn't there yet.

I was so tired yesterday that I

wanted to make popcorn.

Over the course of 4 hours

I got out the kernels,

the pan, the oil,

the sea salt

and the lid.

Yes, it took four hours for me to

get the focus to get out

the needed items.

By the time I got it all out

I was too tired to make it.

Insert frustration, anger,

minimal patience.

So on a Friday after a long week

my Husband comes home to a

torn apart house,

me who was half awake on the couch,

the Boys running rampant,

stuff sitting out in the kitchen

from my popcorn attempt,

and

me super grumpy about what I did not do.

I did however, wash sheets, take the Logan to school,

ran to a grocery with Aidan and Daniel.

Fed them lunch but never got that quite cleaned up,

fresh sheets on the little's beds.

That consumed all my energy.

How, do I release frustration?

Exercise, physical activity..

How do you do that when you are exhausted?

It was just a junk day.

I was asleep before 8p

and in bed until 7:30a today.

7:30 is when Boot Camp is on Saturday's.

I woke up too tired to go.

After all that sleep, still tired!

Insert more frustration there.

**Remember, I was told by many specialists

not to get frustrated at what I can't do

to give it time**

My 2 cents is:

I made it this far, why NOW?!?!

Well, the weather is beautiful, actually cool

minimal humidity.

Blue cloudless skies, nice strong breeze.

Andrew headed out and mowed the yard, edged, trimmed.

Then all 5 of us headed out back for fresh air.

Filled with supreme allergens

so now congestion, hoarse coughs,

runny noses

and

antihistamine taken preventatively.

I did a few out door chores in the back.

We took down the second level of my raised garden.

The dirt I made last year?!

GORGEOUS!!!

Yes, I bought all top soil, compost, etc.

Made some supreme soil to grow our veggies in.

Yes, I am bragging, it's super pretty!

I took down some briars growing

from our neighbors yard into ours.

Those root systems are strong.

I took it out on those guys!

Needless to say, I was just clipping briars

also reaching through the fence (the house next door is

empty and in pre-foreclosure :( )

so I have to get a handle on those briars

because they get into our yard

and go right where Logan and

Cooper love to play.

So, yes, after some clipping I took a break.

I sat on down, out of breath, and wiped.

Explaining to Andrew that when I say I

go to Boot Camp and modify my exercises.

I REALLY REALLY do!

Not that he is one to convince.

He knows and trusts me

but it was my 2 cents

due to some critical vocal parties.

I caught my breath

and

trimmed my rose bush that is

from my Great Grandma Crase's house.

Everyone has one in their yard.

After she passed away,

my Grandpa (her oldest son of 8 children!!)

made sure all of his Kids and Grandkids

have a part of her bush to keep at our homes!

I trimmed some crazy parts

and

worked on some bushes I had

moved into our back by our AC's.

That helped me relieve my frustration.

To see things how they are.

Another lesson of learning patience.

Lots of things going on, patience is key and so is trust.

There is more than must my tiredness, a few things we aren't at a point to talk about yet,

Daniel having an allergic reaction but seems to be heading

down it's nasty path

of more ring worm.

YET, NO ONE ELSE HAS IT!

A long frustrating call with a nurse at the Ped's office.

That is a whole other post of how one of my soap box moments.

Which is more so give another side others don't always get to see.

But anyways, Everyone has difficulties.

No matter what they are.

We all have them, all on different levels, all

at different times.

Anything easy is not worth having.

We all have our paths we are lead to,

our paths to follow or stray from.

Our lessons to learn

and

hopefully learn something to help others,

to make the world a better place.

No matter how little or possibly

seemingly irrelevant.

It will help someone somewhere.

We are all different.

If we all were the same how

boring would the world be?!

This is all here for a reason,

however given.

Keep Hope, Faith, Patience.

From a friend I was given a wonderful song to listen to.

A video to watch.

It is 22 minutes.

It is wonderful and sad too.

It is about a teenager who passed away this week.

But, his way of handling it.

I bought one of his songs

and will soon

buy the others.

It goes to a great cause

and

to me his song, “Clouds”

it is about his way of dealing with a terminal illness.

But, listen to it if you feel you want.

It can be put into anyone's difficult times.

To me it is a motivating song.

Take your chances while you have them,

try, you can do it.

Don't let things bring you down,

find some good in it.

Take on the challenge!

So, my main purpose

is to spread interest in this teenager.

He has a web site:

http://www.childrenscancer.org/zach/

It has everyone on it.

His music, his story, the video.

It may bring you to tears.

Keep hope

and

of course buying his music

(which is addictive to me)

goes to a wonderful cause.

A simple and easy on the budget donation.

To something some may feel strongly about,

if you don't

that's OK.

We each have our own things that mean a lot to us.

Slowly, digging out and letting out frustration

and

Thank you Dear Lord for giving me

such a wonderful man

that I am sharing my life with.

I will try to keep my patience.

A constant lesson we are being given.

10 Weeks Post-Craniotomy Novel and Neuro-oncolgist visit

10 weeks under the belt.

I guess in a few weeks I will stop counting

at least on here.

I think it will always be on my mind.

On Monday was my 2 month post-op

rescan.

So, yes it was a little over 2 months from my

last MRI, but now we are on a roll.

Andrew as super busy at work.

I hit the MRI mid-morning

by myself.

First time ever.

This was MRI #7 in 15 months.

So, yep.

15 months 7 MRI's

and

in the last 4 months

2 CT's.

That can at times be hard to swallow.

I at least get a break

for 2 months now.

I am sure there will be a few more things done before then.

Yup. We never want to stay dull.

You know gotta maintain our

chaos level.

If it calms too much

it is a calm before the storm.

So please just maintain our typical

chaos.

Norm is a bit nicer than a huge storm.

I tried to keep the MRI peeps entertained.

You know.

It was at a mobile MRI place

I have never been before.

So they don't really “know”

so you slowly tell them.

Yep.

I had the nurse and the tech laughing pretty good.

They smiled a lot.

You know Monday's can be crazy

so if you can keep someone's

nice,

You may as well.

Around 2p we left for my

neuro-oncology appointment.

This is something that is interesting.

You know where you are going

but then

you pull up outside

Duke University Medical Center.

Yet, I don't go into the main hospital.

Where the Brain Tumor Clinic is

is at

The Cancer Center.

Yep, so, it's hard.

You feel like people look at us

wondering where we are going.

There are a lot of people older than us.

Yet, here we are.

I know there are people our age or younger

doing the same thing

but you don't always see it.

So we sign on in,

I fill out

my paper work.

Then the Nurse calls us back.

This time was a few less professionals

then in April.

Weight, check, BP, and a few questions.

Then move into our room.

This time instead of meeting with the PA

we met with a NP.

She was nice.

We had her laughing pretty good.

They touch base on all that is going on

and

yup.

We keep them entertained.

She was super nice.

She asked me a lot of questions.

Then checked me out.

Typical, listen to your heart,

your breathing,

then they (typcial for me)

check my peripheral vision,

check to see how my eyes respond to light,

look down my throat.

I then get to do a memory test (slight FAIL)

they give me three simple words

to remember.

So since I failed miserably last time

I tried even harder to remember.

I said the words out loud a few times

and figure I was good.

Then she asks me to spell, “House.”

Then spell it backwards.

Then, OK I am kind of fuzzy here and

will probably not mention it all.

OK..I know now, subtraction questions.

Then check my reflexes, balance,

strength.

While trying to explain what I am doing
Edit: Her telling me what I am to do
and me slowly processing the task she is asking to test 
strength etc. 

she can see the amount of time it takes for me

to process the information.

I am slow.

It happens.

And that is OK, but sometimes

something I don't always notice

but it's pretty obvious there.

Then after all that.

What are the three words?

I said, “Uhhhhhhh...”

Then I remember (I try to think pictures.)
It helps me.

“Cake.”

She said, yes.

Then I thought a little longer....

Ummm....

uhhh......

“Tree?!”

She said, “yes!”

and

then just like last time...

The last word...

I don't remember.

So I think, and think

and think...

then she gives a hint.

I got a hint last time

and still answered wrong.

This time the hint helped

and I said, “Chair??!”

She said, “YES!!”

Whew.

Yes, so cake, tree and chair.

I had a hard time to remember it after 5-7 minutes of time

passed.

She said, my MRI looked pretty good.

I asked about the mentioning of “Oiligoglendroglioma” charateristics

inside it all.

She said, there are some parts that look like that too

however, it's not enough to change it to a

“Mixed Astrocytoma”

they are still

sticking with
“Grade 2 Well-Differeniated Astrocytoma, Recurrent.”

Whew!!!

I am having some hormonal issues

so I asked about if that is typical.

I have already had to go to my Family Doctor

due to some issues

now I have another appointment I have to see

my OB-GYN due to recurrent issues
 due to the stress the craniotomy put on my body.

The neuro-oncologists say, “Yeahh..that's not our strong point.”

You should touch base with them.

Which I had and was awaiting a call back.

(Which came the moment I walked in the door from Duke.)

I was hoping maybe someone may have mentioned it before.
Guess not.

We like to be different.

So, when Dr. Desjardin came in she pulled up my MRI

for us to see how it looks.

Back in April she said it was such a clean resection

and

she was impressed.

She told us the hole would get smaller

and

she would be watching if the tentacles come back.

Well, this time (they always slowly feed you with

a tad more information each appointment)

**This is how Dr. Grossi did it too. **

And we are perfectly OK with that.

Things goes on a need to know basis.

This time she said, (something we have heard from Dr. G before)

you know we can not remove 100% of the tumor due to the

tentacles creeping into normal brain tissue.

So the tentacles are still there.

You see this fuzzy line right here?

These are the tentacles.

Last time we got pointed out a nice clean line

and the difference of the clean line versus

pre-op MRI of the tumor and the big tentacles.

So, if anyone has tried to read up.

Astrocytoma's are infiltrative tumors.

Due to the tentacles constantly creeping into

every nook and cranny possible.

You know, kind of spider web like.

She did say, the fuzzy portion is exactly

like they were on my MRI from a couple days post

craniotomy.

And again she mentioned Dr. Grossi's work

but this time saying,

“This is the BEST Grade 2 resection I have EVER SEEN!”

Again, mad props to the amazing Dr. Grossi!

Seriously, people.

A-MA-ZING!!

So, in July I will be back and

how the schedule worked out

this MRI will be on site at the Cancer Center

then I head up 2 floors to the Brain Tumor Clinic.

The nurse that followed in with Dr. Desjardin

walked right in and said, 'You LOOK WONDERFUL!”

She sounded surprised.

I don't know how I am supposed to look

and

people at all my Specialist Offices

keep saying it with shock in their voice.

I guess I will take it as a good thing.

I am not anywhere near where I was before heck even

my biopsy.

But, I am working on it.

I am determined and will kick butt.

The things that are hard are, well,

I was given a “Survivor” shirt.

I think, compared to what others have gone through

I have done nothing compared to them.

I don't feel I deserve it.

But then, I realized that's not true.

It's hard to be.

It will come back.

They just don't know when it will

and depending on how it comes back will

possibly be a third brain surgery

or

only chemo.

But, there will be chemo in my life.

They just don't know when.

So, at a Grade 2 it is benign

but I go to the Cancer Center.

Even if my Grade 2 tentacles grow

I will go on chemo.

If new spot shows up, it will most likely

be a 3 or 4 because they have a high

tendency to come back more aggressive

at 3 and 4's it's is brain cancer.

If in an operable place it will be re-sectioned

and

I get chemo.

It could happen any day now

or in

20 years.

But as Dr. Desjardin said,
“It won't get there because I will be watching it so close.”

So yes, we will catch it early again

and

I will continue to kick it's ass and take names.

It was just finally hearing that again

and

finally realizing it.

I knew it was something that will be done

for the rest of my life.

Which I will tell you I will die somewhere between 85-95 years old.

So, it's going to be a long time.

It just finally clicked to the understanding

of claiming

“I am a Survivor.”

Because I will.

So, since our fabulous experience with Angels Among Us

I have now worn my Survivor shirt

twice.

I may as well own it.

I wore it yesterday all day for all to see.

Last week I wore it to my 3^rd time I went to Boot Camp since

my craniotomy.

Oh yes and Monday I went to my 4^th class since surgery!

Working the way up

but probably won't get to class tonight

because I don't think I physically can do it

but we will see how the rest of today goes.

So I have a photo of me at 2 months to the date

post-op and post Boot Camp class #3.

Yeah...I was nasty sweaty. :)

My as well own it. (The Survivor title.)

It is what it is. 

Why fight who you are. 

And a photo from this morning in carpool

of our sweet Aidan.

Tomorrow is his last day of preschool.

Today as the last day I will drop him off

tomorrow his class meets a park for a

party.

Where did the last 5 years go?!

We stay on our toes!

Let the chaos continue!

Thank you Lord for keeping us challenged

and

getting us to understand how we listen to your Plan for us.

Thank you, thank you.

Something my best friend showed me.

My best friend sent me an article mentioning this

wonderful super positive

 Mother. 

It is nice to read and hear about her and

her Husband through it all. 

I think it is only right to share her personal blog. 

How incredibly AMAZING!

http://jamielambhilton.blogspot.com/

Smoke alarm on the fritz

So sorry I have been slow to blog.

You know, why keep things calm?!

Whether it's a choice or how things tend to go.

Mostlly, it is how things tend to go

so

if we do get a choice

we don't tend stray from the not crazy

because we would be choosing

the non-norm.

Anyways, yeah, so I have surpassed

2 months to the date since

surgery

and

Wednesday marked 9 weeks.

This week I have hit a lull.

First time in a while I have over done it.

I did not mean to.

REMEMBER, (for the super critical non-constructive ones)

my first and foremost choice is to take care of the
Boys.

That includes, diaper changes, taking them to school, snacks, meals,

groceries, laundry etc.

Once I get the hang of that I will do more.

That said, I have taken a dip back into my

Super Awesome Boot Camp class.

Why?! People may ask,

well, that is how I handle my stress.

Is it easy to handle stressed out kiddos,

Autism tantrums?!

(Have you ever experienced them?!)

It is hard and after hours upon hours of it

you know you sometimes tend to lose your cool

especially if you don't have an outlet.

My outlet is exercise.

The few times I can actually give my brain a break.

I feel revived and ready to start again.

I as have mentioned I am no where near where I was before

with class

AND

that is OK.

I AM OK with that.

AND

THAT IS MOST IMPORTANT!

By going back to class I handle the Boys better,

I am better for Andrew

and

for myself.

Health wise you must find a good

stress outlet.

Bottling it up is not good for your mind or body.

It REALLY can affect all of your bodies systems.

Don't worry I studied for my bachelor's degree on that.

It's not a fake thing, it's true science.

And again why the neuro-oncologists

are pushing for it.

OK, I need to step off my soap box.

Andrew and I had an unplanned trip to Texas.

It was pretty stinking nice.

We really enjoyed it and loved the area.

It was the first time either one of us had been there.

It deserves it's own post

and

I will do that soon.

(Probably after the long deserved Angels Among Us post.)

That said, I missed the Boys.

A break is nice and the Boys

can be a handful

but

we both still want to be with them.

So, you know after all the stress on them with

my surgery and recovery

let's add a trip for us to it!

Talk about some super separation anxiety of these

Sweet Stressed Little Men.

D has hit his limit and was in our bed with us.

(He usually wants ONLY his bed.)

So that was how Sunday night went.

I slept pretty OK

and

Andrew was kicked all night.

Monday, the Boys did well enough.

The older two went to school

and

I chilled out with D.

I also caught up all of our laundry.

Then went to Boot Camp.

I came home pumped with energy.

And had two great friends come over for a surprise visit!

THEN came our typical crazy.

Super early Tuesday morning, I was already in the shower.

The Boys were all woken by one of our smoke alarms.

Yup.

So, when one goes off it makes all the others go off.

We have six in our house.

Well, nothing was smokey it was just one on the fritz.

Don't worry they all got brand new batteries 2 months ago.

Yeah...so it is hard to pin point the fritz one

when they all are going off anywhere from 5 seconds to a minute

you are running like fools comforting the Boys

and trying to see

which one is the culprit.

We read up on it could be insects or dust

on a sensor.
So, first step take them all down and blow them out.

(Thanks to our air compressor.)

Guess what...

it did not work!

And one squealed like a fool

when being cleaned out.

So they would wait 5-20 minutes

in between going off.

Logey also has his Speech Pathologist come in

on Tuesday mornings.

Yes...real helpful for a therapy session!

So by that point it was almost 3 hours of them

randomly going off

and I was

right by the dumb one.

FINALLY!

SO Andrew got it down

and we were good.

Andrew went to work,

I took the Biggun' to school

then

Bitty, D and Me hit up

the home improvement store.

We bought 6 new ones.

You know, if one is on the fritz and you fix it

that pretty much

asks the rest to follow suit.

So we took the initiative to start fresh.

Tuesday's are long days.

Logan has Occupational Therapy in the afternoon.

Lately, their office has been bonkers when we get there.

So, have a stressed out (since we were out of town),

early risen (due to the smoke alarm),

sound sensitive (due to constant alarm sounding) Kid

not to mention his Special Needs

and

put him in the overstimulating (paint and lights)

waiting room,

with it's recent increase in crowds.

He was kind OK at first, a little over stimulated and trying to work with it

then saw his Therapist come out

with her current patient then

step back into the office.

He flipped out. She came quickly back out.

I gave her the short update

and

since she knows him so well

knows the crowd was not helping.

She took him back quick

holding his small flailing self

who ended up kicking

a nearby Boy in the head.

(He was not aiming or aware of the other people, that was just

how stinking crowded it was in there.)

Barely room to move.

I apologized profusely to his Father.

Who thankfully was super nice.

Yes, so D get's no naps on those days

and

is tired.

Etc.

Yes, those are long days and early nights.

Wednesday was a day of needing groceries but

I have signed up to meet

one of my Friends and her Baby Boy

for free play at one of our

local recreation centers.

D LOVED it!!

But that was a long day too.

I had an afternoon appointment also (=no rest) then

you know the Boys wake from nap

and the day continues.

Thursday, we needed all groceries.

I woke early to make the bread we were out of

and I was too tired to make it

the night before.

I took Aidan to school

then

took the Little's on our grocery runs.

I use coupons some but mostly know

the stores have more consistent prices

and the least price

of some of our big ticket items.

So unfortunately I needed to hit 3 stores.

Well, when pushing carts full of groceries with

60 pounds of kids in it.

Yeah..first time I have tried that since surgery.

I usually only go with just D

but it did not work with our plans this week.

So it had to be 2 kids

or

I get up super early to go kid free

or

go super late to be kid free.

Which means less sleep.

So obviously I chose more sleep but

more kid weight.

It was too much for me.

Now I know where I am

and

will more easily remember it

due to my exhaustion level.

Only thing is, Summer is coming up

and

will be taking all 3 Boys!

I make Aidan walk but

everyone once in a while (pre-surgery)

I would let all 3 be in the cart

which takes it to 100+ pounds of Kids.

Yes, that is not gonna happen anytime soon.

Needless to say, I got some help unloading the groceries

and picking Aidan up from school.

I rested but it wasn't enough.

So I went to bed early,

slept all night.

Slept in, and was still exhausted.

I can't even remember right now(today is Saturday)

what I did yesterday morning.

But by lunch time with the Boys I was done.

I called Andrew home.

:(

He took over lunch and got them to nap.

All 3 napped.

I napped 3 hours.

I woke to 3 sleeping Boys at 4:40p. YIKES!

I was still tired but know if I nap too much

I can't sleep at night.

Needless to say, I made dinner.

And could barely get myself up our steep stairs.

Andrew put the Boys to bed and I literally crawled from

our hallway into our bedroom

and

into our bed.

I was asleep before the Kids.

I slept until this morning.

Aidan had a school mate's birthday party to go to.

It was a lot

so here I am this afternoon resting.

I could seriously nap but would rather

just go to bed early.

Or perhaps take a short snooze.

But yes, I knew the party would be too much.

But he is almost done with the school year

and

will miss his school friends as they all

go to a different school next year.

So we all went since if I did not go that

means taking care of 2 littles

and

it is too much for one of us to take all 3 Boys by

ourselves to a museum.

You can lose Logan in a heart beat

and to

find him you have to relinquish your

attention 100% from the other 2.

Just not safe at all.

So, 2 adults are needed to take all Boys

out to a place like that.

Perhaps, after more years it will be

feasible but not

at this moment.

We'll get there though!!

Angels Among Us Post due soon

and

A Texas post which includes some awesome air plane photos.

Yes, an awesome private air show.

SO neat!

AND

some GREAT Family time too!

Almost 8 week post-op and Boot Camp Baby!!

Oh 8 weeks.

Yes, 8 weeks ago tomorrow.

So, last night I went back to Boot Camp.

Like normal we must always

have a level of chaos

maintained in our life.

After 8 weeks of Bitty in meltdown

mode

and

the other 2 being definitely out of sorts
and then

add some non-kid crazy

wildness.

I need to burn off excess energy!

I have to make my brain stop moving

8,000 mph.

I need my stress relief.

By mentioning about Boot Camp

some people came out of the cracks

trying to say I am over doing it.

Don't worry people!

I listen to the professionals!

(From my Neurosurgeon, Neuro-oncologist PA, Neuro-oncologist MD etc..)

I take it to heart

and

I listen to my body too.

How else do you think we found

the tumor?!

If you do any reading on early symptoms,

people tend to ignore them

and

only listen once it is aggressive.

Now that said, I never would have

thought that was what

was going on in my body.

But I knew in my gut something

just did not feel right.

I am not a big go to the doctor

for every silly thing.

(Don't get me started on that rant.)

I go when something just

out right doesn't seem right.

It's a gut feeling.

A feeling of something hanging

over your head or weighing

on your shoulders.

*If it's not obvious symptoms that you are super ill

and

need something from the doctors to over come it.

So yes, I listen to my body.

I keep getting warned about

not over doing it.

So far, not over doing it.

You do need to challenge yourself

but within reason of course.

So, that is what I do.

Here I was ready to go

with our Boys swarming around me

of course.

So I watch the Kids and Andrew wanted a retake

The Biggun' and D insisted on holding my hands. 

How else am I to know where I am?

You have to try and see
then you will know
if you need to step back

or

amp it up.

So, I went to Boot Camp last night.

AWESOME!

As I was told by the awesome Doctors,

I knew I could not do

what I used to do.

I know I have to ease back into it.

Luckily, my Instructors are great at

modifications

and

I do have a degree in exercise science.

So I also know modifications

to exercises too.

I did not bring my bag with my weights in it.

I used my Mom's small weights some

and

did most with no weights.

I also know I cannot do cardio for another month

So, again modifications in play right there!

And

I am perfectly OK with that.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to run

but I know what it would feel

like if I did.

I know what the aftermath would be

and

it would be a terrible feeling.

That's enough for me to know

and

keeps me far from the temptation.

Class was great.

My Instructors are awesome

and

the nice boost you get after

a good exercise was AMAZING!

It was awesome!!!

This also made me sleep better.

Finally a more peaceful night of sleep

minus the fussing D through the night.

Which is just what he has been doing since

we have had extra people around

the house for weeks on end.

Once he gets the feel that it's just us

he will hopefully sleep a little easier.

That said, I am tired this morning from his disruptions

but

my giant bags that have been under my eyes

for 8 weeks

are gone.

Yeah.

Finally, some real rest

so again, as I have said before

I can only sit still for so long!

Then I get antsy and have to burn off

the excess energy.

Heck even this morning

Bitty's Speech Pathologist that

comes to our house

asked me how I was feeling.

She then said that I have so much more

energy than I have since the surgery.

I give that credit to going back to class.

It was AWESOME!!

CA-RA-ZY..curve balls, c*ncer..We will win!

OH MY LORD!

We just live with CA-RA-ZY!!

Good and not so good.

Today was a good day.

Our oldest niece

had her First Communion.

It was nice.

It was the first time Logan

and

Daniel were brought to Church

in a few years.

Between 12 hour a day

colic and vomit baby

and

tantrum filled beyond belief

almost 2 year old

with

developmental delay

and

diagnosis.

Yes. They did OK.

The people behind us were nice.

They said they understood.

Logey and D

both insisted

Mama.

I was holding them most of the time

by the end

especially after kneeling

my legs were shaking.

So at this point I am tired

but

that is OK.

I did not get to listen as well

as I want

but

it comes with the Momma territory.

One Lady behind us told me at some point,

“You are a Super Momma.”

I just smiled.

OK?!

Then I think..does she know my Sister..

does she know me?!

What does she know?

Oh well.

She was nice.

I saw a Boot Camp classmate

who has a daughter there too.

I saw one of my OB's there.

I saw an old Boss

and

his Family.

One that we have known since I can

remember.

She commented on how small I am.

My Mom popped in with, "She had a recent surgery."

She asked what.

Yeah...so I had to answer.

Yup.

So...not what people expect.

You think?

After it all,we headed to my Sister's.

It was nice.

With a Rogers' curve ball.

With that...what do I do?!

I enjoyed some Chardonnay.

We had cucumbers, carrots and celery to enjoy.

Then came the meal.

Beef tenderloin.

Mmmmmmmmm..

Yes...so

2 beef tenderloin sandwiches, mac n cheese,

salad, then another chunk of beef tenderloin,

then a small bit of tenderloin,

then a piece of super yummy

chocolate cake,

then the rest of Aidan's cake

then I got another slice

and

ate one bite.

Then I felt full.

Yeah..

then I kept munching on veggies

yeah.

I am a weirdo.

And of course water!!

Yeah...I am planning on Boot Camp

class on Monday.

I know I can't do much

but

this is how I handle

curve balls.

It's how I get out the frustration,

or anxiousness

or

whatever you want to call it.

This comes with the cruddy situations

and

the good.

So..it's my coping mechanism.

Crazy Lady I know.

So..

What

A

Day!

OH yes!!!

AND MY SISTER
told me an idea she thought I might like

and

we want to try for fund raising

for the Brain Tumor Center.

A beer run!!

Run a lap, drink a beer, run a lap, drink a beer...

You get the hint!

I think it's AWESOME!!!
TOTALLY!!

I wonder who all would come..

Let me know!

We shall see how we work it all up!

Seriously!

She was in the newspaper this week.

She and my awesome Brother-in-law..

 he's an in-law..

but peeps...

He's been around a long long time!

He's my brother!!

I mean..we're talking 22 years...

yeah...since he first showed up

they have known each other longer than that though.

She was in the paper talking with

a 10 year old who has lymphoma

and

working with fund raising.

We will battle you you nasty

C word.

The word I try to avoid around our Boys.

I have some not so nice phrases

that cover my feelings on that.

WE WILL WIN!

Knowledge is power.

What better way to kick it back!

I promise “C” I will be wear at least

a lead combat boot

and

some more

tricks up the sleeve.

Like I said,

we get our i's dotted

our t's crossed

and

our wants are raising

money on research.

KISS MY BUTT CANCER!

WE WILL KICK YOU BACK

AND

THEN SOME!

WE WILL WIN!!

YOU SUCK!!

OK..I will stop there.

Here are our Boys and us this morning before we left for A's First Communion.

Take 1

Take 2